5 Signs He’s Not Into You Anymore

September 7, 2013
5 Signs He’s Not Into You Anymore

So, you and that new guy you are seeing are in the early stages of dating?

Or maybe you have been dating for a while now and are on the cusp of making things official by calling each other partners.

Your heart is invested in your budding relationship and you want to make this work. You fantasize about what a committed partnership would look like with him.

You know you want to take things to the next level, but what about him? How can you tell if he is just really not into you anymore? How can you tell he is sharing your vision for making the boyfriend status permanent?

To find out, keep reading. Below are five signs the guy you are dating may not necessarily be feeling it anymore.

1. He is consistently inconsistent.

Before, you could always count on him and his loyalty. He had integrity and always followed through with the things he said he would do.

You had developed a security in knowing he always had your back and he attended to you and the relationship.

Now, he is beginning to withdraw that attentiveness. He seems distracted and aloof, almost withdrawn.

He does not do those little things that make you happy like he used to, and you experience a loss from what seems like a missing void.

2. He becomes a master of vanishing.

He no longer seems available to you, either physically or emotionally. The quality time you used to spend together now seems irregular at best.

He is now more difficult to reach. He tends to be more passive when it comes to scheduling dates.

3. Your intimate life takes a hit.

Your sex life together becomes less regular or less intense.

All relationships go through periods of sexual lull, especially after the honeymoon period passes.

This is not necessarily a bad sign. Libido typically dies first when there are personal or relationship problems occurring as well.

If he seems less than erotic a great majority of the time, and there is a market decrease in affection in spite of everything else being seemingly kosher, there may be a need to talk about what this means.

“Use these signals as

preventative strike.”

4. Communication goes out the window.

In this sign, he no longer listens very well, or he is not as proactive in discussing positive or negative issues about you as a couple.

He probably used to be intent on learning everything there was about you and wanting to please you.

Now he may seem remiss on this knowledge and he may appear more self-focused or motivated to do things outside of the relationship.

5. He becomes more secretive than ever before.

In the past, he probably used to tell you all about his day, and he was most likely excited to get your opinions on various things.

Now, he might be more closed off and not as forthcoming.

He might be more guarded with his cell phone, and there may seem to be more boundaries than there once was.

So what does this all mean for you?

These are only five potential red flags. Just because these exist, it does not necessarily mean he is not into you anymore.

There could be a plethora of personal or relational issues going on that could block the intimacy you are trying to cultivate.

If he is losing interest, it does not necessarily mean he is cheating.

It could mean he is just not really ready for a relationship yet, so he is pulling back so he can feel more secure.

Or perhaps it means that after dating for a while, he has come to the realization you two may not be compatible as lifetime partners.

The last thing you want is to let these signs create paranoia and preconceived notions that something could be wrong.

The important thing to do with these potential triggers is to take note of them. Then you should approach your partner with a dialogue about the status of your relationship.

Ask him: What is going well? What is not going so well? What needs are being met? What needs are not being met?

You can learn a lot from this type of conversation, and this can sometimes go a long way toward staving off a breakup that did not necessarily need to happen.

The breakup could have been avoided if unaddressed issues were confronted earlier on when they first started happening.

Use these signals, and any others, as preventative strike to resolve any issues in your relationship.

What are some other signs you have experienced in your dating history that elude to the fact he is just not into you anymore?

Dr. Brian Rzepczynski, DHS, MSW, is “The Gay Love Coach." To sign up for the FREE Gay Love Coach Newsletter filled with dating and relationship tips and skills for gay singles and couples, as well as to check out current coaching groups, programs and teleclasses, please visit www.TheGayLoveCoach.com. Connect with him on Google+.

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