First dates are uncomfortable. Maybe she hates the restaurant. Maybe she hates your perfume. Maybe she just hates you. Once you’ve gotten passed your parents’ occupations and favorite colors, it’s easy for anyone to have to fight the urge to flee.
Being gay can sometimes make dating even trickier. Before you condemn yourself to a life of cats and quiet reading, take heed of a few tips that could help keep your first date more fun than friend zone.
1. Be open.
Being a lesbian can often mean having a less than traditional dating life in your younger years. Even if you’re not so young, it’s perfectly normal to discover your sexuality whenever you do.
That being said, if this is the first time you’ve ever been on a date with another woman, don’t necessarily shy away from saying so. Avoid being needy, but it’s OK to be inexperienced. Being honest about not having had much opportunity with other women could actually alleviate some awkwardness if you happen to say or do something a little off.
If you’re the opposite and feel comfortable in a lesbian relationship, don’t be preachy but don’t be shy. Social graces help everyone feel comfortable in society, and correcting someone, gently of course, in your microcosm will help them to feel more adapted.
“Don’t forget there’s an entire
world outside the one you know.”
2. It’s OK to be reserved.
It’s important to be honest about yourself, but sometimes being gay makes simple tasks unfortunately complicated. Society is catching up, but it’s OK if you feel a little timid taking your new lady on a stroll of the town. It’s unpleasant but sadly justified to maybe feel like you can’t bring your new girlfriend out to dinner with your co-workers.
While you’re first getting to know each other, pick places that you’ll both feel comfortable. First dates can be awkward enough, so pick a background where you’ll both feel like you can be yourselves without fear of scorn.
3. Break away from your crew.
Sometimes being a part of a small community leads you to feel blocked in to dating whoever is available, kind of in the way that all characters on teen dramas eventually fall in love. Break the cycle and build your relationship on common goals or interests.
If no one in your friend group is someone you feel you could actually forge a relationship with, look elsewhere. Moving outside your social circle can be uncomfortable for anyone, but don’t let that stop you from finding someone special.
Hit up a different bar, join a wine tasting club or try online dating. We all have a tendency to stick with what we know, so if you realize you’re on a date with someone you’ve been matched with out of happenstance, it’s OK to cut things off at the head.
Your friends know you in a unique way and that can often make them easy targets for romantic feelings. Just don’t forget there’s an entire world outside the one you know.