Is it Time to Have Sex with Your New Lesbian Girlfriend?

Lesbian Dating

Is it Time to Have Sex with Your New Lesbian Girlfriend?

Mary Gorham Malia Mary Gorham Malia • 9/25/14

Wow, that’s a big question isn’t it? It’s sort of loaded with nervous tension and excitement.

It really is exciting when you meet a lesbian you are attracted to and she feels the same about you. It just doesn’t happen often enough.

When that chemistry finally shows up, it’s hard not to just jump into bed.

As a dating expert and coach, I don’t tell my clients when they should have sex for the first time.

You are adults. You can buy alcohol and guns and drive cars at speeds in excess of 100 miles per hour.

Life is full of rules already, so do we need one about when to have sex.

The next thing I recommend is to ask a better question. Asking better questions gets you better answers and better results for your life.

10 better questions to ask:

  1. What would happen if we have sex and then don’t like each other?
  2. Would I be OK if we had sex and never saw each other again?
  3. If I have sex with this woman and it’s a lousy experience, what am I going to do then?
  4. If I have sex with her, am I afraid I’ll instantly fall in love with her?
  5. If I have sex with her, what are the chances I’ll lose my mind, rent a U-haul and move in?
  6. Am I concerned because I want to please everyone else or myself and this woman?
  7. What will I do if she decides she’s more into me than I am into her?
  8. Are we ready to get that intimate and personal?
  9. Is this taking our relationship to another level I’m ready for?
  10. What if it’s the best thing that ever happens to me, and why would I want to wait for that?


“When having sex, it creates a real

energetic connection between both of you.”

As you can see, with different kinds of questions, the answers start to have more meaning and can go in a lot of directions.

An important fact lesbians have to deal with when having sex is it creates a real energetic connection between both of you.

Your bodies release the hormone oxytocin when you have an orgasm and that creates a chemical connection.

That’s what creates those crazy U-haul stories – that oxytocin connection.

So when is it OK?

Whenever you’re ready to deal with the consequences, go forth and have sex.

Hopefully it’s all fabulous. If not, you’ve already decided how to deal with it, right?

When do you decide to have sex with a new girlfriend? Leave us a comment below with your thoughts on this big question.

Photo source: