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|Mary Gorham Malia • 9/25/14|
She’s not only attractive, but she’s sort of feminine. You really liked that about her.
She mentioned to you she was bisexual, and you decided to take her out just for kicks. After just a couple of dates, you’re really into her.
Think Ellen DeGeneres and Anne Heche a few years back.
The problem is you’re not so sure she’s into you or even into the lesbian scene. You’re constantly getting mixed signals. On top of that, you’re wondering if she’ll dump you for a guy.
Mixed signals are the worst. “Come here. Go away.” Yikes!
Not all bisexuals are confused but many are dating on both sides of the fence because they like it.
It’s not all about power or using people. It’s often about exploring life and having many different experiences.
OkCupid.com did an analysis of people who identify as bisexual on their dating website. What they found is really interesting.
Bisexuals in their 20s and early 30s make contact with both men and women pretty evenly. By the time bisexuals have reached their mid-30s, they are dating one sex almost exclusively.
If your attractive bisexual woman is in her 20s or early 30s, she falls into the group that is still open to both men and women.
She may truly not be that into you but just having an experience. She may not be sure she wants to be with a woman exclusively or for the long term. She’s still figuring things out.
The good news is if she’s moving into her 30s or older, she’s probably choosing one over the other. Overall, women are more fluid in how they define themselves sexually than men are.
That means many women coming out later in life who call themselves bisexual and date women are probably going to stick with playing with the girls. That’s nice to know, isn’t it?
“There is no certainty in the dating
world. You have to take chances.”
Are you her first woman? Then you can ask if she’s just curious or serious.
If she’s been with other women, you can be sure she’s visited the territory and knows more about what she is doing and what she likes.
Now there are some women who jump into lesbian dating, stay awhile and then leave.
So what about Anne Heche? She was in a relationship with Ellen for a while. Then suddenly she left Ellen and was dating a guy. She’s been with men since Ellen.
We remember Ellen being brave and Anne saying she was just trying things out. She said she wasn’t a lesbian but she loved Ellen.
That’s not uncommon. I’ve heard it from women I know: “I just loved her, but I’m not into lesbians.”
No woman wants to get her heart tied up with someone who could leave her for the other sex.
If we’re being honest, many lesbian relationships end because it’s just not working, not because of a guy.
There is no certainty in the dating world. You have to take chances.
If you’re comfortable dating bisexuals, then please do. You just might find long-lasting love and happiness.
And if you realize she’s just not that into lesbians, then you’ll have had an adventure and hopefully come out on the other side a better version of yourself for it.
Have you ever had an experience with a bisexual woman? I’d love to hear your stories.
Photo source: msnbctv.wordpress.com.