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|Michelle Johnson • 10/20/14|
“Dating is like trying to make a meal out of leftovers. Some leftovers actually get better when they’ve had a little time to mature, but others should be thrown out right away…” ― Lisa Kleypas
Have you ever had a really horrible first date? I’m not talking about a date where there is just no connection or chemistry, but rather I’m talking about a date that makes your skin crawl. This is the kind of date that makes you feel like you are in your own private remake of “Night of the Living Dead.”
Perhaps he is 20 years older and 50 pounds heavier than his profile photo, with an ego that would fill the vast Montana sky. Maybe he has breath like a corpse at high noon and is trying to get fresh with you right out of the gate.
What if he is so obviously wounded, bitter or needy that you know he would suck you dry as fast as Dracula would bite you on your pretty little neck?
You might have the sense he has a warped mind or a frightening dark side.
Now I’m all for giving a decent man a fair chance, and I realize you do have to risk the unknown to find love. It’s normal for a first date to be awkward, especially when you’re senior dating, as both parties are usually quite nervous.
However, sometimes it’s blatantly obvious you have to escape, return to sanity and shake this thing off.
Share personal information about yourself very sparingly, as you are getting to know someone new. You don’t want a man to have too many details if he turns out to be unbalanced or is prone to stalking.
Your safety and comfort have to be a very high priority. Trust your intuition, and don’t get into a risky situation.
Meet in a public place like a coffee shop or casual cafe. The tone of conversation should be light and fun.
If things go well, you can plan to see each other again, but if the date is a disaster, you’ll be able to maneuver a clean getaway.
When ending a date early, remember less is better when it comes to the reason or excuse you provide. If possible, don’t create a scene or make a man feel angry or rejected. Just thank him for the opportunity to meet and tell him you have to excuse yourself.
If he presses you for details, you can say “I have another commitment and need to be on my way now.” He may get the message, but if he calls and wants to see you again, you can let him know in a polite but firm manner you’re not interested.
If you had high hopes for this date, and it has been a catastrophe, you may need to give yourself a chance to recover and to catch your breath.
It’s important to realize a bad date is not a reflection on your value as a woman, nor does it mean you are doomed to a lifetime of romantic disappointments.
Try to maintain your sense of humor. With a little time and perspective, this horror show may turn into comedy.
It also can help you appreciate the treat of having a delicious first date with a great guy in the future. You’re never obligated to date someone you don’t feel comfortable with, and it’s not your destiny to become the bride of Frankenstein.
File it under “Bad Horror Films Endured” and move on.
Photo sources: myreviewer.com, guim.co.uk