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|Adam Clark • 9/25/14|
For once, the guy has lived up to expectations. He was charming. You found him attractive. You even laughed out loud together. You want to see him again.
The fact your first date went well is good news. But hold on a minute before you start telling all your friends you’ve found Mr. Right.
These early flights of feeling are fantastic, and enjoy them. It’s all real and part of the joy of life. But it may not, indeed is likely not to last at this height of emotion.
When we don’t know a guy very well, it’s easy to project all our fantasies on to him.
We know little of his friends, his family, his background, his habits. You’ve yet to notice all those little traits that may begin to test your nerves.
It’s easier to fall in love with a fantasy than with a real human being. And falling in love the long way, working hard at it over time, is more likely to make it all worth it.
If you really want to make that transition from date to boyfriend, from quick fix to long-term love, here’s what to do.
When you’re on your next date together, focus your attention on whatever it is you’re doing, right here, right now.
Feel free to discuss plans for things you might do together in the next week or two, but avoid talking about how you might spend vacations together or say things that show you assume you’ll soon be moving in together.
“Live in the moment, and create
space for love to flourish.”
We’ve all been tempted to pretend we’re into things we know nothing about just to impress a guy. What really matters to a serious potential boyfriend is authenticity.
Be honest about what you like to do. Tell him about your hobbies, interests and adventures. And ask him about his.
Difference is enriching. He’s not looking for a carbon copy boyfriend. And, hopefully, neither are you!
His friends will tell you a lot about him, not in the way of gossip but through who they are.
Has he got a circle of long-standing, loyal friends who obviously hold him in high regard? If so, then it looks like you’ve hooked a good one.
If he’s unwilling to introduce you to his friends, or they seem flighty and bitchy, then be careful about getting in too deep with this guy.
You may be tempted to spend every available moment with your new beau, but it’s important to spend time with your own friends.
Don’t forget them. These are the people who will be with you no matter what happens with this new guy.
Don’t take them for granted or sideline them. Show loyalty to them and they’ll be more likely to stand by you.
It’s great you’ve met a man you’d like to see again. Enjoy getting to know each other. Have fun together. Build up memories.
Be real. Be you. Live in the moment, and create space for love to flourish.