What to Do When She Doesn’t Want to Marry You
|April Braswell • 7/12/13|
Many men in their 50s, 60s and older were raised to be gentlemen.
They were taught that once you are partnering up romantically with a lady, you ought to ask her to marry you. You might cohabit for a while together first, but getting married is in your sights.
Some might feel this is a bit old fashioned in this day and age, that marriage is only if you are planning to have children together, so what’s the point for seniors to marry?
However, these men are indeed a little old fashioned and are proud of it. So when they give their hearts, they’re circling around to purchase an engagement ring and looking to propose marriage.
But what if it’s the lady who doesn’t want to remarry?
Once you started bringing up your long-term vision for your relationship with her and she said, “I want a life partner, but I don’t plan on remarrying,” what’s a mature man to do?
Before you get too taken aback by her not wanting to marry you, gently investigate why she feels this way.
Is her reason financial?
For a number of widows, their income can often be sourced by how their late husband provided for them financially.
Did his job or military service leave her with any kind of an annuity or pension? Perhaps a significant part of her monthly living comes in via a pension she benefits from as her late husband’s widow.
Some pensions are based upon her remaining unmarried. Will she cease to receive this monthly pension income were she to remarry?
“Know in your heart what you
really want and remain true to it.”
Is her identity tied up in being a widow?
Secondarily, some widows were married to their late husband for so long that “being his widow” is now part of their identity.
She might want a “gentleman companion” but not to become another man’s wife.
This is less common for senior women in their 50s and 60s. More often this is the case for widowed ladies in their 70s and up.
If she really is the lady for you, use this time in your budding relationship to open up the topic of a long-term romance and your gentlemanly desire to wed again.
Many modern pensions can be retained in some manner were she to remarry. She just needs to look into all of the legal details before risking her financial living.
Additionally, her identity of being “his widow” can change over time with patient courting from a man with honorable intentions.
Considerate persistence is just so marvelously attractive in a man. Your consistent courtship of her can turn her heart to you.
She might initially not have wanted to remarry, but she might become open to the possibility with your patient pursuit of her. Try some patient persistence.
Know in your heart what you really want and remain true to it. If marrying really matters to you, then be with a woman who wants that with you, too.
What kind of a mature relationship do you want at this time in your life? Have you ever been with a senior woman who didn’t want to get married?
Photo source: luciforeman.com.