Lesbian Dating

Who Pays on a Lesbian Date?

Kara Pound Kara Pound • 9/15/12

Historically, dating as an institution is a relatively new phenomenon. Emerging in just the last few centuries, dating is defined as a form of courtship done by two people with the aim of assessing each other’s suitability. Yet, one of the oldest topics psychologists, sociologists, dating coaches and us everyday people have argued for years is, “Who pays on a date?”

When the date consists of a man and a woman, it’s virtually (and traditionally) known that a man is supposed to pony up and pay for dinner and a movie.

But what about when two women are on a date together? On a lesbian date, who pays? While there isn’t a black and white answer, there are a few things to consider before whipping out your debit card:

1. She who asks, pays.

If you ask her out on a date, then you should pay. This really only applies to the first date. On the second date, both women should offer to pay and going Dutch is a practical solution.

2. She who makes more money pays.

Once you’re past the three-date mark, the woman who makes the most money should offer to pay. If you’re a lawyer and you’re dating a waitress, chances are, a nice dinner is just a small portion of your bi-weekly paycheck. For a waitress, it could mean not being able to pay the electric bill.

3. It’s not just about the money.

Once the relationship is on the fast track and the two of you are going out on a regular basis, she who pays is no longer the most important question.

Say you’re the waitress and you girlfriend pays for 100 percent of dinners out. That doesn’t mean you’re off the hook. If you can’t afford a fancy dinner, then cook for her at your apartment and make it extra special. Dating goes both ways.

So there you have it. When it comes to dating, there is no yes or no answer on who should pay on a lesbian date. Whether it’s dinner, the movies, a concert or ice skating lessons, think about etiquette, and be practical before whipping out your credit card or expecting your date to pay.