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10 Best British Dating Blogs

C. Price — Wed, 22 May 2013 11:00:23 +0000

Here at DatingAdvice.com we’ve gotten to know a lot of great American dating and relationship sites and blogs, but what about those across the pond?

Our 10 Best British Dating Blogs have all the charm, quirk and cheekiness you’d expect from the Brits, so have fun taking a look around. Cheers!

Smarter Datingsmarterdating.co.uk

Bragging Rights: Connecting singles

SmarterDating is a British dating blog like no other. From online dating tips to advice for plus size daters, there is no lack to the variety of content. The best part about SmarterDating is its focus on technology, which includes videos, apps, profile writing services and more! If you’re looking to emotionally and digitally connect with other daters, look no further.

Social Clout: 4,512+ followers, 210+ likes

URL: http://www.smarterdating.co.uk/

Jo Hemmingsjohemmings.co.uk

Bragging Rights: Specialized advice

Known as “The U.K.’s #1 Relationship and Dating Coach,” Jo Hemmings is the go-to for singles dealing with any dating problem, whether it’s mastering online mingling or confidence issues. Hemmings is a bright, thoughtful and effective coach who caters her advice to each client. She’s also written five books and has been featured numerous times on BBC. Can many people say that?

Social Clout: 19,540+ followers, 395+ likes

URL: http://www.johemmings.co.uk/

The Dating Doctorthedatingdoctor.co.uk

Bragging Rights: The dating doctor is in

Do you have a fever only Love Potion #9 can fix? Peter Spalton, aka The Dating Doctor, has the prescription you need. Spalton is all about curing the dating and relationship illnesses that are keeping you from finding your mate. He is also an expert in flirting, dating, seduction, body language and so on. Follow Spalton’s advice and you’ll feel better in the morning.

Social Clout: 3,540+ followers, 2,551+ likes

URL: http://www.thedatingdoctor.co.uk/

Hayley Quinnhayleyquinn.com

Bragging Rights: Go inside a woman’s mind

Since growing up a “chubby, poor geek in rural England,” Hayley Quinn knows where frustrated daters are coming from. Quinn has dedicated her life to helping people achieve their own dating success through tailor-made advice and powerful insights. Not only does she offer realistic tips, she also teaches daters to harness the power of text, email and the Internet – what modern daters need.

Social Clout: 1,440+ followers, 490+ likes

URL: http://www.hayleyquinn.com/

Muddy Matchesmuddymatches.co.uk

Bragging Rights: The country people dating site

Do you prefer riding horses instead of riding in limos? Well, you’ve come to the right place. MuddyMatches is the go-to dating site for country people and those looking for country people. MuddyMatches has been uniting country-minded daters from all walks of life since 2007. The content is fun, entertaining and light, with titles like “How Muddy is Your Profile?”

Social Clout: 1,704+ followers, 413+ likes

URL: http://www.muddymatches.co.uk/

Dating Coachdatingcoach.me.uk

Bragging Rights: Helping everyone find their soul mate

Led by professional life coach Jo Barnett, DatingCoach.me.uk has a gentle and encouraging approach to dating and relationship advice. Barnett really connects with her audience by sharing her firsthand experiences. Readers feel an intimate connection with her, which means they can trust her tips. Barnett’s passion is to help everyone find the one they’re meant to be with.

Social Clout: 353+ likes, 57+ followers

URL: http://www.datingcoach.me.uk/

Johnny Casselljohnnycassell.com

Bragging Rights: Sophistication

Johnny Cassell is a pickup artist and dating expert for the elite who once believed he had no chance with women – that is, until he started learning from the naturals. He used those techniques to improve his game and is now paying it forward. Cassell gets men the results they want, and he believes you have to improve every aspect of your life if you want to be successful in love.

Social Clout: 831+ followers

URL: http://www.johnnycassell.com/

Drawing Down the Moondrawingdownthemoon.co.uk

Bragging Rights: Thousands of matches to prove it

Mary Balfour is a matchmaker and dating coach who has been running Drawing Down the Moon, a London-based dating agency, for more than 24 years. With her experience comes the need to address the tough dating topics, like aging and appearance. Balfour is everything you want in a matchmaker and coach – charming, helpful and always honest.

Social Clout: 440+ followers, 356+ likes

URL: http://www.drawingdownthemoon.co.uk/

Paula Rosdolpaularosdol.com

Bragging Rights: Knowledge = Power = Love

Paula Rosdol runs the London School of Love and is here to educate you in the ways of dating, courting, mating, romancing and beyond. Rosdol wants readers to take control of their love lives through her personalized multi-step plan to finding “The One.” With knowledge in the latest dating trends, including online dating, sophisticated singles and easy-to-obtain sex, Rosdol knows her stuff.

Social Clout: 750+ followers

URL: http://www.paularosdol.com/

We Love Dateswelovedates.com

Bragging Rights: Don’t go through dating challenges alone

We Love Dates is a popular dating site that offers quality articles about dating, relationships, love, sex, seniors, breakups – you name it. A group of talented writers share their personal and touching experiences in all matters of the heart. It’s like talking to your BFF. The advice is also candid and witty while being practical and cutting edge. It’s all there waiting for you!

Social Clout: 10,284+ followers, 4,900+ likes

URL: http://www.welovedates.com/

Featured photo source: favim.com.

4 Steps to Getting More Dates

Brian Rzepczynski — Sat, 18 May 2013 11:00:29 +0000

In my experience coaching single gay men, I have found there are four main areas that, if successfully cultivated and worked on, tend to foster greater dating opportunities that yield results.

If you’ve been having a difficult time establishing and maintaining relationships with the guys you meet, perhaps something may be amiss in one of these categories that you could direct your energy toward improving.

There are always factors outside our control in dating that can impede our progress (like the other guy sometimes!), but it’s important to avoid blaming and placing too much emphasis on the external.

Instead, we can take responsibility by ensuring we are invested in our own personal development and becoming a “Mr. Right” as well.

This is always an evolution as well since we are always developing and changing as we grow and mature.

So take a look at these four categories below and conduct a self-assessment to determine where your strengths and weaknesses lie.

1. Vision.

This actually has nothing to do with dating and everything to do with your own personal growth. This section is all about you having a solid life structure in place.

You know who you are and what you stand for, and you also have a full life you enjoy and are passionate about. You have life goals, purpose and a good degree of balance between responsibility and play.

It’s very difficult to have a stable dating life without this foundation established, lest you be distracted by a lack of direction and could define your happiness solely around a relationship – something that tends to be disastrous in the long run.

“A successful dater has good communication

skills and demonstrates confidence.”

2. Personal requirements.

This means knowing what you are looking for in a partner and a relationship.

The astute man knows what his negotiable and non-negotiable needs are and then uses this knowledge as his screening tool to ensure he only romantically engages with those who meet these criteria.

Many a gay dater has thrown caution to the wind and approached dating with a “wing it” approach or one that is solely ruled by sexual attraction and chemistry.

By incorporating wisdom of your requirements, along with your libido, you’ll be increasing your chances of avoiding heartache and not wasting time and energy on prospects that won’t lead you to your goal.

3. Psychological well-being.

We all have self-sabotaging tendencies, unfinished emotional business from the past, losses we need to grieve, etc.

Unfortunately, until we’ve addressed these issues, they can contaminate our relationships as we project these unhealthy defense mechanisms and emotional reactions with our boyfriends, causing the potential for sabotage and relationship demise.

The psychologically savvy man has done the work to ensure he is both physically and emotionally available for love and is always devoting to work to ensure this remains the case. He has his priorities straight!

4. Dating skills.

This is the stuff of social skills.

A successful dater has good communication skills, has the ability to flirt, is assertive and direct, has integrity, follows through with what he says he will and demonstrates confidence and self-esteem when interacting with others.

He has good listening skills, is able to establish and maintain conversations and demonstrates empathy and good manners.

So how did you do? Kudos for all the areas that are your assets! And for those areas that need strengthening, what is your action plan going to be to improve those competencies? You’ll be great!

Photo source: sugarandspicephotographyva.com.

10 Best Dating After Divorce Blogs

C. Price — Wed, 15 May 2013 11:00:04 +0000

We all know dating is no walk in the park, but what if it’s been years or even decades since your last first date? Dating after divorce can be intimidating and downright terrifying, which is exactly what our 10 Best Divorced Dating Blogs understand.

Do you need tips for jumping back into the dating pool? Are there stories you’d like to share about your experiences? Is it support you’re looking for? It’s all here!

Huffington Post Divorcehuffingtonpost.com/divorce

Bragging Rights: A content powerhouse

The Huffington Post has a great divorce section that has everything every divorcee could ever want or need. The site is a well-known powerhouse, so readers know they can trust the advice, which ranges from real stories to funny pieces that lighten the seriousness that often comes with divorce. If there’s a divorced dating topic out there, The Huffington Post has covered it.

Social Clout: 10,577+ likes, 10,530+ followers

URL: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/divorce/

Since My Divorcesincemydivorce.com

Bragging Rights: Sharing stories to change the world

Since My Divorce is a wonderful site that features touching stories from men and women going through the ups and downs of divorce. With a variety of topics discussed, it opens readers’ eyes to issues they may have never considered. Since My Divorce is a therapeutic outlet for divorcees who want their voice heard and want to gain perspective on their unique situation.

Social Clout: 2,724+ followers, 471+ likes

URL: http://www.sincemydivorce.com/

Never Too Latenevertoolate.biz

Bragging Rights: The key to midlife dating

Headed by dating coach Ronnie Ann Ryan, Never Too Late is a site that gets right to the point with its advice. The content is realistic and straight up, so readers know they will succeed if they follow the tips. Ryan gives her audience the strength to walk away from any bad situation and find what they want and deserve. Ryan shares her wisdom with every single woman who has a strong desire to find love.

Social Clout: 561+ followers, 150+ likes

URL: http://www.nevertoolate.biz/

Thrive After Divorcethriveafterdivorceblog.com

Bragging Rights: Passing on the wisdom

From devastated mom to thriving business owner, spiritual divorce coach Carolyn has made it through her own divorce and has the experience to help other women do the same. With a spiritual focus, Thrive After Divorce is making the world a better place. Readers can tell Carolyn really cares and is willing to take the time to give the best advice she can.

Social Clout: 10,215+ followers

URL: http://www.thriveafterdivorceblog.com/

Divorce 360divorce360.com

Bragging Rights: If it’s over, what’s next?

Do you want immediate answers to all your divorced dating questions? Well look no further than Divorce 360, a very resourceful site that offers support, information and tools to help people at any stage of the divorce process. The advice is written by professional reporters and experts in a way that’s easy to understand and make use of in your own life.

Social Clout: 192+ followers, 49+ likes

URL: http://www.divorce360.com/

Moving Past Divorcemovingpastdivorce.com

Bragging Rights: Mother/daughter duo

Moving Past Divorce is the product of Terry Gaspard and Tracy Clifford, a mother/daughter team that strives to keep readers optimistic during a difficult time. Having experienced the turmoil of divorce in their own lives, Gaspard and Clifford provide well-researched and intelligent advice both men and women can relate to. Readers can’t go wrong.

Social Clout: 2,341+ likes, 1,848+ followers

URL: http://movingpastdivorce.com/

Midlife Divorce Recoverymidlifedivorcerecovery.com

Bragging Rights: Divorce recovery – easier, faster, for good

Started in 2006 by Suzy Brown, Midlife Divorce Recovery is a sisterhood for women going through one of the toughest experiences anyone could go through. The site consists of articles, one-one-one mentoring and news that help women begin the healing process. Brown wants readers to stop feeling guilty and start getting focused on the next adventure in life – findnig love again.

Social Clout: 245+ followers

URL: http://www.midlifedivorcerecovery.com/

51 First Dates After Divorce51firstdatesafterdivorce.com

Bragging Rights: Dating…the next time around

Maria E. Andreu is a writer, mom and divorcee who created 51 First Dates After Divorce as a funny outlet for others in the same position. Andreu blogs about all her first dates, as well as the heartbreaks, successes and struggles with finding love. Most of the stories are “upbeat musings” about what it’s like to be single again. If you’re tired of Starbucks dates, Andreu can relate.

Social Clout: 131+ followers, 43+ likes

URL: http://51firstdatesafterdivorce.com/

After Divorce Adviceafterdivorceadvice.com

Bragging Rights: The secrets to attracting the right person

Kimberly Pryor, the award-winning author and host of “The Rebuilding Your Life After Divorce Retreat,” was tired of meeting Mr. Wrong, Mr. Strange and Mr. Way Too Nice, so she created the After Divorce Advice blog to keep other people from making the same mistakes. Pryor offers easy strategies to find love and gives readers the courage to meet the person of their dreams – no matter the scenario.

Social Clout: 1,438+ followers, 771+ likes

URL: http://www.afterdivorceadvice.com/

First Wives Worldfirstwivesworld.com

Bragging Rights: The new face of divorce

First Wives Club is a private and secure environment for women who need a helping hand when experiencing relationship challenges. Through social networking, forums, mentors and more, the site provides the support divorcees need during this hard time, which makes readers feel like they’re all in this together.

Social Clout: 895+ followers, 228+ likes

URL: https://www.firstwivesworld.com/

Featured photo source: blogcdn.com.

Is He Single? 4 Ways to Know

Henry Perkins — Fri, 10 May 2013 11:00:10 +0000

I have a problem. I recently decided to volunteer at an LGBT organization in order to get some involvement in the community, quench my insatiable desire to help the less fortunate and selfishly find my future husband.

I’m fairly certain I found him, and it’s safe to assume he’s gay given the nature of the organization. However, now I have to determine if he’s single.

The problem is I lack the fortitude to be blunt, open and honest with him for two reasons.

First, directly asking if he’s single is obviously indicative of crushing on him. And I wouldn’t want to suffer the embarrassment of him knowing I have (or had) feelings for him given we have a working relationship.

Second, I gravely fear the soul-crushing response of “I have a boyfriend,” which is just a distant cousin of the hurtful “I am rejecting you.”

So I’ve come up with a few plans…

1. The perks of social media.

Dating in the age of social media has its advantages.

His Facebook profile is currently nonexistent (or at the very least buried in privacy settings). However, once I’ve ascertained a slightly amicable position, I will attempt to Facebook friend him.

My only hope is he displays his relationship status as loud and proud as his sexual orientation.

2. Ask him out without asking him out.

Since I have a working relationship, I’ll simply ask him if he would like to grab a drink.

If he gives me the “I’m seeing someone” spiel off the bat, I’ll quickly come back with, “I just meant to go over a few things for this project.”

3. Trick him into telling me.

I’ll casually ask if he’s going to bring his boyfriend to an upcoming event.

If he responds with, “I don’t have a boyfriend,” I’ll counter with “Oh, sorry. I thought Clare [a mutual friend] said you did,” so it seems less trite for me to have asked in the first place.

4. Trick his friend into telling me.

Next time I’m with someone who knows him well and he’s brought up, I’ll mention, “I think I saw him last night. He was with his boyfriend.”

And if his friend responds with, “Where did you see them?” I’ll cry internally and make up a random spot.

However, if the response is, “He doesn’t have a boyfriend,” I’ll respond with, “Maybe that’s why he ignored me when I waved. That will teach me not to wear my contacts.”

And if all else fails, I’ll comb the message boards on this site.

Fellas, do you have any helpful suggestions when it comes to knowing if your crush is single? I’d love to get some advice!

Photo source: tqn.com.

10 Best Funny Dating Blogs

C. Price — Wed, 08 May 2013 11:00:11 +0000

Sometimes dating can be too serious: What should you wear? Where should you go for the first date? When should you go in for the kiss? It can be exhausting!

If you’re looking for a break from the maddening world of dating, then take a look at our 10 Best Funny Dating Blogs. These dating sites are sure to entertain and shock you, all while taking your mind of your dating life.

My Life on Match & Moremylifeonmatchandmore.com

Bragging Rights: Stories that have to be shared

Lead by Emily Macintosh, a 30-something single living in Los Angeles, My Life on Match and More explores the ups and downs of online dating. Macintosh shares her dating horror stories in a very real and entertaining way. Have you ever been stalked by an online date? Macintosh has. And there’s plenty more where that came from.

Social Clout: 2,347+ followers, 59+ likes

URL: http://www.mylifeonmatchandmore.com/

Sex, Lies & Baconsexliesandbacon.com

Bragging Rights: Inspiring vaginas since 2009

Sex, Lies and Bacon is the brainchild of Melysa Schmitt, a single mom candidly sharing her adventures in dating. Through sassy posts like “Dating Mr. Douchetastic,” Schmitt hopes to encourage others to follow their own path to love. It’s easy to see why her readers trust and respect her. Plus, she’s not afraid of a cuss word…or two.

Social Clout: 3,748+ followers, 333+ likes

URL: http://www.sexliesandbacon.com/

Single Girl Bloggingsinglegirlblogging.com

Bragging Rights: Laughing about life

Single Girlie could easily cry about her single life, but instead she makes the best of it by sharing her experiences with readers like you. Her cringe-worthy stories are normally accompanied with hilarious infographics and photos that help get her point across. She’s not afraid to say what’s on her mind. She’s also a big fan of talking about penises, if that’s your thing too.

Social Clout: 5,439+ followers

URL: http://singlegirlblogging.com/

Cheezburger Datingfailblog.cheezburger.com/dating

Bragging Rights: Lightening up the seriousness of dating

Created by the ever-popular Cheezburger.com, the Fail Blog portion of the site has everything you love about Cheezburger but with a dating twist. You could spend hours scrolling through the side-splitting photos, videos and news posts. I promise it’s sure to make you forget how hard dating can be sometimes.

Social Clout: 1,654,383+ followers, 121,042+ likes

URL: http://failblog.cheezburger.com/dating

Soon to Be Cat Ladysoon2becatlady.com

Bragging Rights: Thoughtful lessons through hilarious mishaps

Soon to Be Cat Lady takes what every single woman fears and somehow makes it better. The site focuses on online dating situations that are both funny and desperate. There are also articles directed toward helping men, including “Should I Post Topless Pics On My Online Dating Profile?” and “Don’t Message Me If…” You’re sure to get a kick out of browsing through this site.

Social Clout: 804+ followers, 53+ likes

URL: http://soon2becatlady.com/

Catherinettecatherinette.wordpress.com

Bragging Rights: Bridget Jones has nothing on her

Most women remember hearing the tales of a princess being saved by Prince Charming on a white horse and living happily ever after. Well, Catherinette is here to uncover those lies and get to the truth when it comes to dating. With clever articles and hilarious nicknames for her dates like “Hairy McBacksweat,” you can’t go wrong with this funny dating blog.

Social Clout: 861+ followers, 333+ likes

URL: http://catherinette.wordpress.com/

Why They're Singlewhytheyresingle.com

Bragging Rights: A tribute to online dating excellence and failure

Have you ever wanted to share your latest dating mishap? Well look no further than Why They’re Single, a site created by a man who met the love of his life online, only after sorting through hundreds of ridiculous emails, awkward profiles, weird photos and disturbing online matches. This site will shock you, amuse you and fill you with nostalgia all at the same time – guaranteed.

Social Clout: 1,235+ followers, 509+ likes

URL: http://whytheyresingle.com/

Adventuresaurus Girladventursaurusgirl.blogspot.com

Bragging Rights: Every day is an adventure

Doesn’t matter if it’s at work, the grocery store, a bar or in the streets, Adventuresaurus Girl finds a crazy dating experience no matter where she goes. Readers can relate to her struggles, like going back and forth with the same date, and her short and to-the-point posts consistently keep you updated with her progress, failures and successes. Remember, life and dating is an adventure!

URL: http://adventuresaurusgirl.blogspot.com/

Dating Failsdatingfails.com

Bragging Rights: We’ve all been there

Created by a happily married couple just looking to share the awkward dating stories that might have never been told, Dating Fails consists of user-submitted content that will put a smile on your face and make you feel better about your dating life. The site teaches readers not to get a tattoo of an ex or talk about castrating horses on the first date, in case you didn’t know not to do those things.

URL: http://www.datingfails.com/

Will Date for Free Foodwilldateforfreefood.wordpress.com

Bragging Rights: Everyone loves free food

Will Date for Free Food is lead by Witty, Bodacious and Blondy, three single Bostonian girls exploring the world of online dating. The stories are raunchy and ridiculous, which makes them all the better! If you’re always telling your friends, “My life could be a sitcom,” this is the site for you. Don’t forget to check out articles like “Interoffice Romance Gone Bad” and “Online Dating Message Hell.”

URL: http://willdateforfreefood.wordpress.com/

Featured photo source: imgur.com.

Your First Gay Sexual Experience

The Gayly Dose — Tue, 07 May 2013 11:00:44 +0000

People usually say, “I’ve known I was gay my whole life.” Although this may be true, it doesn’t necessarily happen to everyone.

I never knew I was gay my whole life, per se, but I’ve always known I was different.

When I was five, I remember having a huge crush on Aladdin and his purple vest that revealed rippling muscles underneath. Now that I think about it, maybe Aladdin is gay.

Only now do I know I was gay when I was five, but I didn’t know it then. Therefore, I didn’t know I was gay my whole life until I came out and reflected on my past.

Honestly, I knew I was gay since I was about 10 or 11.

My first sexual experience.

My first hand job was given to me by my friend when I was 14. Some people lose their virginity by then, but unlike them I didn’t grow up in West Virginia.

My friend was a childhood friend whose parents were best friends with mine, so we used to see a lot of each other. My first gay sexual encounter happened when he spent the night and things got a little bit “hands on.”

We decided to show “it” to each other and you can imagine the rest. Actually, don’t imagine the rest because that would be sick. We are both underage in that fantasy, for God’s sake.

“Your first sexual encounter helps

you understand your sexuality.”

A lot of my friends say their first encounter was similar.

My straight male friends also say their first sexual experiences were hand jobs, while my straight female friends say their first sexual experience was the female equivalent to a hand job.

I know a lot of gay men who tend to have their first gay sexual encounter when they’re quite older, like around their late teens and early 20s, because they finally come to terms with their sexuality and embrace it.

As long as they figure who they are, no matter what age, that is an accomplishment in itself.

This first encounter isn’t a precursor of who you are sexually.

A lot of gay men and women sometimes lose their virginity to someone of the opposite sex before they actually come to realization they’re gay.

Some people know when they’re five years old and some people know when they’re a teenager, like myself. Some people realize they’re gay when they’re much older.

All in all, your first sexual encounter does help you understand your sexuality. The real purpose of it is to embrace your sexuality and your true self – gay or straight.

Guys, what was your first gay sexual encounter like? How has it shaped how you approach sex now?

Photo source: tumblr.com.

I’m Overweight But a Great Person. Why Are Men Superficial?

Dr. Wendy Walsh — Fri, 03 May 2013 11:00:38 +0000

Reader Question:

I am overweight but a great person. Men don’t want to give it a chance unless they want just sex or money.

Why are men so superficial?

-C.J. (Pennsylvania)

Dr. Wendy Walsh’s Answer:

Dear C.J.,

Men tend to be more visually wired than women. Couple that with a hyper focus on youth and beauty in the gay community and good men like you often get overlooked.

I assure you that you are not alone and I encourage you to examine your choices in mates.

Are you in fact overlooking some great people because you may have also internalized the focus on good looks yourself?

My suggestion would be to use an online dating site in a different way. Instead of beefing up your physical or financial attributes to attract someone, write in a deeply personal way about your values.

Authentic people attract other authentic people. Talk sincerely about what you have learned in life so far and what your goals are.

If your online profile is a mundane list of height, salary and zip codes, you won’t passionately energize anyone.

Be the standout person who is real and you will find a real relationship.

No counseling or psychotherapy advice: The Site does not provide psychotherapy advice. The Site is intended only for use by consumers in search of general information of interest pertaining to problems people may face as individuals and in relationships and related topics. Content is not intended to replace or serve as substitute for professional consultation or service. Contained observations and opinions should not be misconstrued as specific counseling advice.

Is Shyness Ruining Your Dating Life?

Brian Rzepczynski — Thu, 02 May 2013 11:00:47 +0000

A great majority of the struggles I find men having with dating stem from anxiety.

Whether it be insecurity of approaching a gay man you find interesting or a fear of intimacy or commitment, these dilemmas oftentimes have anxiety at their root.

Anxiety is a big culprit in the great majority of male sexual dysfunctions, too.

Fear can hold us back from realizing our potential and can also be a huge obstacle to our achieving our dreams of goals — in life and love.

Anxiety can feel paralyzing.

The good news is it is highly treatable and you can overcome its power with dedication and courage.

The problem with anxiety is it leads a person to avoid, which poses a barrier to any growth or movement in a positive direction in one’s life.

The only way out of anxiety is through it. The more something is avoided, the stronger a hold anxiety will have over you.

I’m working with a client right now who finds himself anxious in social situations.

His biggest desire is to develop comfort mixing and mingling with other single gay men and to hone his flirting skills so he can begin increasing the odds of meeting someone to possibly date.

His tendencies toward being a “wallflower” at bars and waiting for others to approach him hadn’t yielded him much success, as is often the case.

He wanted to build his skills in taking more initiative and striking up conversations with others without experiencing self-consciousness and succumbing to his need to bolt when feeling anxiety.

“The goal is to climb the ladder until

you complete your desired goal.”

Two effective techniques.

1. Flooding.

This is throwing yourself into the feared situation and forcing yourself to deal with the scenario head on.

If you’re afraid of heights, then this strategy would have you go to the top of the Empire State Building or jump out of an airplane.

Many people aren’t fans of this approach, but it has the tendency to eliminate the fear very rapidly after a successful exposure.

2. Systematic desensitization.

This exposes you to your feared stimulus gradually as you master your anxiety a step at a time. My client opted for this approach.

With his end goal in mind of being able to approach an attractive man and strike up a conversation, he brainstormed an exhaustive list of all the behaviors that could act as sub-steps to help him accomplish this goal.

He then prioritized each action in terms of low to high-level risk. I had him draw a ladder on a piece of paper and he positioned each action on the rungs of the ladder.

For example, a low-level risk might be using visualization and imagining oneself approaching and flirting with a hot guy.

A moderate level risk might be going to a bar and making a pact with yourself that you’ll flash a smile and say “hi” to a minimum of five guys before leaving for home.

Other items on my client’s list were things like attending a business networking event to practice these skills in less sexualized and pressured environments, role playing with a friend, etc.

The goal is to climb each rung of the ladder in incremental steps as you master each behavior until you successfully complete your desired goal.

It’s like you’re building a muscle, a little bit at a time, until you’ve achieved that ultimate bicep.

Making progress.

My client has made tremendous progress using this approach and is almost there!

This is a simplistic explanation for this technique, and there are many other strategies that are incorporated into its successful execution, including relaxation training to soothe physiological symptoms of anxiety and cognitive restructuring to coach and talk oneself through, but this gives you a basic understanding of what’s involved.

It’s always helpful to work with a therapist or coach to help guide you through the process and strategize ways to overcome setbacks, which are always a part of the learning curve.

What are some of your notorious dating anxieties? What are some strategies you’ve used to try and (figuratively speaking) grab dating by the balls?

Photo source: bp.blogspot.com.

10 Best Adultery Dating Sites

C. Price — Wed, 01 May 2013 11:00:22 +0000

Does your marriage lack the passion it once had? Are you and your partner hoping to spice up your relationship?

No matter what you’re looking for, our 10 Best Adultery Dating Sites have what it takes to find you the affair you’ve always wanted.

Ashley Madisonashleymadison.com

Bragging Rights: The pioneer of adultery sites

AshleyMadison.com is known as “the most successful website for those looking for cheating partners.” Founded in 2002, the site offers a positive and unique perspective on affairs and gives users the opportunity to join the fun. With more than 11 million users in more than 15 countries, AshleyMadison has paved the way for people looking for something on the side.

Social Clout: 14,649+ likes, 5,308+ followers

URL: https://www.ashleymadison.com/

Sweet Discreetsweetdiscreet.com

Bragging Rights: Secret dating at its best

It doesn’t matter if you’re a lonely housewife, an unsatisfied married couple or a cheating husband, SweetDiscreet.com has it all. This casual site is the place to be if you’re looking for someone in a relationship or you’re in a relationship that needs a little spicing up. Once you get started, you can send your discreet matches a cute flirt to break the ice or an email to get the sexy conversation going.

Social Clout: 54,480+ unique visitors/month

URL: http://www.sweetdiscreet.com/

The Affair Sitetheaffairsite.com

Bragging Rights: Getting the spark back

The Affair Site, whose founder started the project after being cheated on by his wife, is a fun and naughty online destination for people looking to find the excitement that might be lacking in their current relationship. Whether it’s an illicit, extramarital, married or secret affair, the site makes it easier and safer to start the fling you want. As the site says, “Sometimes people just need to do what feels good.”

URL: http://www.theaffairsite.com/

Dating in Secretdatinginsecret.com

Bragging Rights: “We won’t tell a soul”

Dating in Secret is the U.K.’s leading network for adults looking for uncomplicated fun. If you’re looking for friends, romance or just someone to talk to, the site is sure to keep your secret safe. Dating in Secret is quick and easy to use for singles and couples alike, which means you’ll be having some adult fun in no time.

URL: http://www.datinginsecret.com/

Affair Lookaffairlook.com

Bragging Rights: More than a cheating site

With more than 40 million members worldwide, Affairlook.com is the go-to site if you’re looking to make your sex life more exciting. The site offers great tools like married chats and two-way webcams for all your affair needs. Get your adrenaline going by sharing your deepest fantasies. Don’t worry – no one has to know.

URL: http://affairlook.com/

Undercover Loversundercoverlovers.com

Bragging Rights: For women run by women

Touted as “the world’s number one discreet extramarital dating service,” UndercoverLovers.com is a site with women in mind and the men who want to meet them. Established in 2008, UndercoverLovers has a nonjudgmental, pressure-free environment that allows people to comfortably seek the romance and excitement they’re looking for, whether it’s a flirtatious chat, dinner date or full-on affair.

URL: http://www.undercoverlovers.com/

Married Secretsmarriedsecrets.com

Bragging Rights: Recapture those butterflies

MarriedSecrets.com wants to help you recapture the butterflies-in-the-stomach feeling that comes when you begin dating someone. A specialty site that takes a no-excuses approach to affairs, MarriedSecrets doesn’t want you to remain bored, lonely or unappreciated anymore. So what are you waiting for? Start meeting like-minded people in your area today!

Social Clout: 236+ likes, 200+ followers

URL: http://marriedsecrets.com/

Find New Passionfindnewpassion.com

Bragging Rights: Married dating with sophistication

Do you want to feel alive again? Well look no further than FindNewPassion.com, a multifaceted site that offers more than just hookups for “desperate housewives.” Created specifically with all types of married women in mind, the site is a high-class service that brings people with the same goals together.

URL: http://www.findnewpassion.com/

Very Naughty Married Datingverynaughtymarrieddating.co.uk

Bragging Rights: Fulfilling the missing aspect of marriage

If your partner “has a headache” too much, there’s no longer a need to go without the sexual and physical ingredient that may be missing in your marriage. That’s where MarriedDating steps in. Whether you’re looking for sex, someone to flirt with or a sexy activity to fill the time, this site is perfect for both singles and married adults.

URL: http://www.verynaughtymarrieddating.co.uk/

Marital Affairmaritalaffair.co.uk

Bragging Rights: Cutting-edge technology

Founded in 2006, MaritalAffair is a quality adultery site that is for fun-loving adults looking for a secret partner. With new expansions to include American, Austrailia, Ireland and South Africa, MaritalAffair is a reliable site that gives its 600,000 members the sexiest experiences they could hope for with hardly any effort.

Social Clout: 326+ followers

URL: http://www.maritalaffair.co.uk/

Featured photo source: sellyourstoryuk.com.

How to Get the Summer Fling You’ve Always Wanted

Jonathan Welford — Tue, 30 Apr 2013 11:00:04 +0000

We are getting closer to the summer holidays. The sandy beaches of faraway places look so appealing and full of opportunity to relax, tan and perhaps have a little romance.

As a single gay traveler, when exploring foreign lands, it would be rude not to go native.

If the opportunity to have a holiday romance comes into your sight, then why not go for it?

Treat it as a fling.

Yes, a holiday romance can develop to be a long-term thing. However, when entering the territory of a holiday fling, treat it as a that and savor it.

Like your travels to a foreign land, it’s something for a fixed time only.

Bringing a date back to your hotel room can be like bringing a bottle of local liquor back, that one that slipped down your throat and made your taste buds and body fizz with excitement and joy.

However, once it travels into your time zone, it tastes like dirty underwear that has festered at the bottom of your travel bag.

I know of some guys that go online to line up a date or two, which seems just as important to them as the actual travel adventure.

The term “around the world in 80 shags” should actually be made into a travel documentary. However, I think there is possibly an X-rated film with a similar title.

“There may be language challenges that

seem cute when you’re in their country.”

So what are the key benefits of a holiday romance?

1. Company.

You have someone to share your experiences with. When you see something exciting, amusing or amazing, you can turn to them and talk about the event.

2. Sex.

You can wake up with a smile on your face and a comfortable body to explore before the day’s travel plans commence.

3. Local flavor.

If you are dating a local guy, you will experience parts of the country that aren’t in the guidebook. Your travel experience will have a true originality with a focus on the local flavor.

4. Saving money.

If you’ve lined the date up online prior to your travels, then the travel costs can be dramatically reduced, as you could get free accommodation thrown in.

If this is the case, then have alternative accommodation lined up if your online date turns out to be a psycho.

It could be the start of something amazing, long term and full of possibilities. There is always optimism. However, you need to be realistic.

And don’t forget to think about these things during your trip:

1. Protection.

Holiday romances are great. A sexual adventure can be the cherry on the cake of your travels.

However, if your date is like the international airport with many people going through him from all corners of the world, be careful and use protection.

You want fond memories from your travels, not a chronic illness or a heap of medical issues.

2. An end date.

Unless you want to enter into a long-distance relationship, your romance should have an end date. It’s all too common to pledge to stay together no matter what the distance.

Be realistic. Unless you have a bottomless pit of funds to cover airfare and a very flexible job where you have lots of annual leave, the relationship has a use-by date.

3. Different cultures.

When going to some far east countries, be wary of being landed with a bill for services rendered.

There is an industry out there capitalizing on sex tourists. Make sure you know what the deal is before arranging your romance.

Also be aware of the legal implications of having a same-sex encounter in a foreign land. Some cultures and customs are very relaxed and Westernized, but others are not.

There have been many cases reported and unreported about blackmail gangs that are out to fleece a traveler out of substantial sums of money.

4. Be completely aware of your location.

Let people know where you’re going. The traditional dating rule is to have a check-in time with friends.

The worst thing you can do is arrive jet-lagged at an airport and be whisked off somewhere you don’t know. Travelers go missing all the time. You’ve seen the reports. Don’t be a statistic.

When arriving in a new country, be awake, alert and refreshed before you meet. Know the geography of the area. Have a get-out-quickly scheme ready.

5. Different cultures.

When you live in two separate countries, you may have different cultural backgrounds. The odds are stacked against you.

There may be language challenges that seem so cute and adorable when you’re with them in their country, but in the cold reality of everyday life, someone is going to have to move for a long-term relationship to work out.

That adds a whole new dimension to the situation. Unless you like form-filling challenges with visa departments and a big pot of money to pay for the costs, then remove these thoughts from your mind.

This may seem like a complete downer on holiday romances. It’s not. They can be amazing, so long as you take them for what they are.

Enjoy the moment. Be sensible. Be safe and secure. If you create a big rose-colored balloon around a holiday romance, sooner or later the balloon will burst or deflate to a saggy mess.

What are your experiences of holiday romances?

Photo source: ning.com.