11 Jump-Starters to Revive the Conversation When It Dies

Men's Dating

11 Jump-Starters to Revive the Conversation When It Dies

Randy Mitchell Randy Mitchell • 10/09/15

No matter if you’ve just met someone, are into your third year of dating or are celebrating a 20th anniversary, there’s one thing that will always keep a relationship strong – communication.

Sometimes it isn’t easy. There are days and moments when you just don’t feel like talking or have run out of things to say. That’s perfectly normal. After all, not everyone can be on all the time.

But if you really want things to grow and work out with the one you’re interested in, a free flow of words is essential for a healthy future. Words help keep the excitement going and lead to a better understanding of where each of you stands.

I’ve come up with some topics to keep in mind that’ll help keep the conversations flowing:

1. Ups and downs at work

Dating is usually time set aside for having fun, but if you’re serious about spending your life with someone, work will always play a part in your discussions.

By talking about each other’s work life, it’ll help both of you better understand your professional sides and ethics.

However, don’t use the time to gripe about your boss’ overbearing personality or boring office gossip. Just use it to talk about the challenges and triumphs you face every day on a professional level.

Ups and downs at work

2. Your proudest moments

Those memorable achievements and accomplishments we’ve enjoyed throughout life are always fun to discuss. This is another area that pulls you full circle in the eyes of another.

It could be a graduation, job promotion, birth of a child, buying your first car or home or learning a new skill. Whatever it is, these moments are always highlights and memories that are worth sharing.

Your proudest moments

3. Honest opinions

These can be a little tricky because you don’t want to offend each other by giving a response that appears negative.

My view on personal opinions is if you want one, ask for it. If not, then don’t. And don’t volunteer them either!

However, when you get to the point of finishing each other’s sentences, then personal opinions will easily be received. Personal opinions can lead to great conversations if you’re on the same level.

Honest opinions

4. Your checkered past

The past says a lot about someone and discussing it can lead to a deeper understanding of what makes your partner tick.

You don’t need to touch upon past relationships if that makes each of you feel uncomfortable, but remembering your childhood, the highs and lows of your career, the first time you tried alcohol, rolled a joint or took your first flight can lead to hours of pillow talk.

Your checkered past

5. Future plans

These are always great to discuss, especially in the eyes of a woman. It lets her know you’re thinking long term and not just taking things day to day.

It also gives both of you something to look forward to, eliminating any guessing games about where you stand.

If a woman is really interested in you, one of the best ways to keep her attracted is to discuss taking a trip together, attending that concert next month or making holiday plans. Anything related to future activities will keep you talking for hours.

Future plans

6. The good and bad times with friends

It’s always good to know more about each other’s friends and be included during their outings.

Talking about the other people in your life is a way of helping to bond, and if you’re included in each other’s inner circles, that’s a great way of producing trust.

Just don’t use the opportunity to gossip or become entwined in someone else’s drama, which can easily happen among a group of people. That’ll turn another off really fast.

The good and bad times with friends

7. Hobbies and personal interests you’re passionate about

These are great to discuss because it gives each of you an opportunity to share what you love outside of work and family.

You might learn something new and become exposed to things you never thought you’d enjoy, including sports, art or writing. Maybe you always wanted to try something different but never had anyone to try it with. Well, there you go.

Hobbies and personal interests you're passionate about

8. Ways you can help one another

All of us need help with things from time to time. It could be something as simple as taking out the trash, helping her pick out a new outfit or facing the onslaught of greedy salespeople while buying a new car.

Working together on tasks always brings people closer, and it’ll help make your significant other grateful for having you around. Imagine her appreciation when showing off your remodeling skills, helping her move or offering to fix her car.

Ways you can help one another

9. Your real feelings about politics and religion

These can oftentimes be tough topics to discuss, especially if you’re a Republican and she’s a Democrat or you’re Catholic and she’s Methodist. Out of all things, engaging in these two topics can lead to the worst arguments or biggest agreements.

If you’re both entrenched in your beliefs, it’s best to discuss them early on to decide if you can live with the differences. Some of the longest and most spirited conversations I’ve ever had with women were centered on these two items.

Your real feelings about politics and religion

10. Your deepest secrets

When you get to the point of telling secrets to each other, you know you’ve arrived inside their comfort zone. That’s good!

We all have secrets and it’s hard to let loose because of trust issues. However, part of moving forward with a relationship is coming full circle with who you really are.

I just wouldn’t go too far like sharing about the time you stalked a former fling, shoplifted some steaks from the grocery store to see if you could get away with it or triple-booked three dates in one day for a challenge.

Your deepest secrets

11. Common goals

Having goals together and talking about them can help keep you close. It could be something as simple as painting a wall or as aggressive as completing a novel.

The trick here is making them a joint effort. When you accomplish something together, it’ll make a lasting memory both of you can share forever.

Common goals

When it comes to interacting

There really aren’t any rules to go by. Communication is something unique to every relationship, and what you talk about will depend on your mood and how open and comfortable you are. The key is keeping it going.

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