Men's Dating

17 Things That Look Like Penises (But Aren’t)

Hayley Matthews • 7/11/14

Considering how often you see actual penises, it’s pretty surprising at how many things look like penises that aren’t. Check out these 17 phallic finds!

17. See Spot Go


This dog probably has really good luck with the ladies.

16. Welcome Home


Nothing like looking through a giant penis every day.

15. Tallest Tower


That must’ve required one hell of a job!

14. Potato-rection


There would be a sick satisfaction with cooking and eating it.

13. Fuzzy Wuzzy


Who knew something phallic could be so adorable?

12. Buzz Buzz


He can’t wait to get inside your mouth.

11. Minnie Mouse


We’d heard about these hidden Disney images…

10. Boner Bridge


When the sun comes, so do they.

9. Sounds Delicious


Can we just get a piece of the chef?

8. Going Up


Imagine it dangling over your head!

7. Subway System


It’ll take you for a ride, alright.

6. Fountain Head


Looks like a man-made structure to us!

5. Hard Formation


Wouldn’t that be fun to climb on to?

4. Messing Around


She had to know what she was doing, right?

3. Naughty Santa


Not even Christmas chocolate is safe.

2. Pillow Willie


Perfect for resting your head on!

1. Oh, Herman


We’d like a taste of that sausage!

Photo sources: blogs.babycenter.com, cherryplucker.com, collegehumor.com, cosmopolitan.com, flickr.com, gizmodo.com, huffingtonpost.com, imgur.com, nerve.com, newyorkdick.com, studentbeans.com, tripadvisor.de, usvsth3m.com

About The Author

As the editor-in-chief of DatingAdvice.com, I oversee content strategy, social media engagement, and media opportunities. When I'm not writing about cheese or my 19-year love affair with Leonardo DiCaprio, I'm listening to The Beatles, watching Harry Potter reruns (I'm a proud Slytherin!), or drinking IPAs.