3 Daters Men Should Avoid

October 1, 2012
3 Daters Men Should Avoid

What a wonderful world we would live in if every woman we met was a totally eligible bachelorette, willing and able to provide us with the perfect form of companionship we desire! Of course, that wonderful world is nothing more than a pipe dream.

When you date in the real world, you will encounter more than your fair share of female archetypes you’d do best to avoid.

And who are some of the top daters to avoid?

1. The not-exactly-single girl.

It’s perfectly natural, normal and healthy for a woman to date multiple men at a time when she’s single, uncommitted and looking for her next boyfriend. For that matter, it’s just as natural, normal and healthy for men to do the same thing when they’re in between serious relationships.

Just as you should be casting your net wide in your search for love, you shouldn’t feel surprised, shocked or turned off when a woman does the same thing, which means when you meet a woman who is currently “kind of seeing” multiple guys, you should take this as a sign she’s single, on the market and actively looking for a guy.

You shouldn’t feel any concern about throwing your hat into that ring.

And then there are women who are “kind of seeing” just one guy.  Do not date these women. These women are very close to actually being in a committed relationship, and you should treat them as if they’re off the market.

Is it possible to date a not-exactly-single girl? Sure, but these girls are almost always more trouble and work than they’re worth, and you really don’t want to take on the karmic damage incurred from interjecting yourself between two people stumbling into, or out of, a committed relationship.

 

“Always aim to date women who

are filled with positive friendships.”

2. The hot girl at the bar.

When I say this, I’m not talking about the many attractive, confident, interesting women who go out to bars and clubs to add a little extra fun to their otherwise satisfying and positive lives.

I’m talking about the girls who go to the bar or the club every night of the week and seem to wrap their entire identity around being someone who attracts attention due to how they look.

No matter how much you like how these women look, and no matter how coveted they seem, unless they clearly and unmistakably demonstrate they have something else going on in their heads, hearts and souls, something other than simply being “the hot girl at the bar,” do not date them.

3. The girl without any friends.

There are two reasons why a girl might not have any friends.

  1. She isn’t a social person.
  2. She is a social person but can’t maintain friendships.

Both of these are huge warning signs a woman isn’t worth dating. Women who purposefully isolate themselves will eventually drag you into their private, secluded, lonely world.

Women who can’t maintain friendships tend to be self-centered, abrasive, arrogant or otherwise don’t play well with others. Even if you manage to maintain a romantic relationship with one of these women, you don’t really want to deal with the constant social drama and backlash she trails in her wake.

Even if you’re a bit of a loner yourself, always aim to date women who are deeply embedded in social circles filled with positive, mutually supportive friendships.

Sam has been writing about dating and relationships for more than three years now. He holds a bachelor's degree from Bucknell University, has self-published a few of his own books and is currently working on mastering the double right turn in his salsa dancing classes. Connect with him on Google+.

Related Topics:
Types of Daters

5 Responses

    These options are great one night stand choices

    I’d consider myself with not too many girlfriends but when I’m in a relationship I’m great about giving my boyfriend space. I personally like alone time so I don’t think #3 should be a big warning sign. My relationships have run quite smoothly because I’m not so busy with a bunch of people in the way.

    It’s always a major red flag when your girlfriend’s friends are all guys, too.

    I’m actually seeing a girl who is dating around, we started being intimate and I care about her but can’t quite seem to be the ‘only guy’. She has a history of throwing herself into bad relationships so I can understand her reluctance on labeling/sealing the deal..

    But I’ve been through a slew of similar situations where the women ended up jumping into physical side relationships and such.

    Not sure how much longer I can wait? Distance/her living situation with a small room+roommates and scheduling also limits us.

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