“You’re either born with it or you’re not.” I hear that a lot.
I hear it mainly from guys who have trouble socializing “naturally,” so they turn to systems and methods that change dating into a scientific experiment.
These guys break down the dating process into a step-by-step procedure, analyzing each part.
And the most overly-analyzed aspect of the dating process is getting her phone number.
“When do I ask her for her number? How do I guarantee she gives it to me? How many minutes into our initial conversation should I wait before asking for the number?”
A guy actually asked me that once. And I told him this:
“There is no fucking time limit!”
It’s all about the connection.
There have been many times I’ve talked to a woman in line at the supermarket where we had a nice 15- or 20-second conversation and I felt the spark — I knew it was there! And so I’d look at her and say:
“You know what, before you run, give me your number. We need to talk more about the sushi you’re going to go home and eat.”
Whatever it is, I don’t care. I’ll just say anything.
Then I get the phone number.
I’ve gotten into a good 10-minute conversation and gotten the phone number — sometimes 30 minutes, sometimes only five. It all depends on where you’re at and where you are in the moment.
“If you don’t understand these things,
then you’ve really got a lot to learn.”
Never be afraid to ask for the phone number if these three things occur:
1. You actually have a real conversation with her.
And I mean real. None of the fluffy, stop-and-chat, “weather looks good today” stuff.
2. She tells you personal things about herself.
A woman will never tell you anything personal about herself unless she felt comfortable. Trust is a big part of any relationship, and trust is something that needs to be built from the beginning of your interaction.
If she can trust you with her life details, she can trust you with her number.
3. There’s a spark between the two of you.
You know that feeling you get when you meet someone you just click with? It always happens in a moment and it’s not something you can reason. It’s just a spark. When you feel that, it’s on.
So if you’re like one of the scientific guys I described earlier, look for these three signs and you’ll always know when it’s the right time to ask for her number.
But I would suggest you develop some sensitivity. It’ll be much easier for you in the future. You can get out of your head and really dig into the moment.
It’s not just about you looking out for the signs above.
Is her eye contact with you? Is she smiling? Is she glowing? (Yes, there’s a glow women have when they have a connection with a man they’re attracted to.)
If you don’t understand these things, if you don’t know what a woman is attracted to, then you’ve really got a lot to learn.
But you’re here because you want that magical phone number. Watch out for the three signs above and you’ll get it.
Guys, do you have trouble getting the girl’s number? Which tip are you going to use to get the number every time from now on?
Photo source: glamour.com.