I know your hormones are going 150 miles per hour, your heart is pumping 100 beats per minute and your mind is thinking about that person every five minutes, but allow me to be your yield sign and tell you to slow down.
Sometimes when dating, we let our hormones drive the car that our minds should be driving. As a result, we move way too fast. Moving too fast can cause us to end up in unhealthy relationships with weak foundations.
Here are four reasons you should slow down:
1. You only met the representative.
When we first meet someone, we always bring our A game. The A game shows the person who’s always dressed to impress, positive, funny and likable.
This person is here to wow you, but she can’t and won’t stay forever. If you have some patience and slow down, you will soon meet the real person.
Allow people to reveal themselves by being in different situations with them before getting too serious.
This is the purpose of the dating phase: You need to know if you can handle their B,C and D game as well. Don’t be left saying “She was a totally different person. What changed?!”
The person didn’t change. You just didn’t take time to get to know the real person.
2. Sex confuses things and limits your ability to discern.
“But the sex was amazing!” How many times have you heard someone use this as reasoning for staying in a bad relationship? Probably more than you care to count.
Many times the connection built through sex blinds us and makes it easy for us to ignore red flags.
It takes more than sex to build a healthy relationship, but sometimes what feels good now can make you forget what won’t be good for you later.
Don’t let good sex be mistaken for a good relationship match. Slow down because the person who really wants you won’t mind waiting for intimacy.
“Instead of acting like impulsive
teenagers, take it slow.”
3. You may have different intentions.
She wanted a relationship, but he just wanted to keep it casual. Sound familiar?
When you move too fast, you don’t take the time to communicate what your intentions are. Then the awkward and dreadful “What are we?” conversation has to happen.
This could have been avoided if you would have slowed down and let all intentions be known.
Sometimes we think there is an “understanding” just because we are so hot and heavy and into each other, not knowing that so much gets lost in hormones…I mean translation.
Slow down and state clear intentions before moving too quickly.
4. Your values may not align.
Your values should be validated by your behavior. Just because the “representative” says she has certain values, it doesn’t mean she lives that way.
The only way to know this is to pay attention to consistent actions. It’s hard to see consistent real-life actions when your lips are always locked up and you spend more time bumping and grinding than observing and learning about each other.
Values can make or break a relationship, so slow down and pay attention not just to what someone says but what that person does.
Please slooooow down! Having patience while dating is key, so instead of acting like two impulsive teenagers, take it slow and really get to know what and who you are getting into.
What do you think are some reasons people move so fast in relationships?
Photo source: deviantart.net.