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|Jackie Melfi • 9/24/15|
Am I a swinger? Yes. Do I swing all the time? No.
So what exactly does that mean? Isn’t that the goal of a swinger? Don’t swingers just want to have sex all the time with everyone and anyone? No and no.
As with any group, I know there will be those who fit within the extremes, but for the most part, I have found the swingers I come in contact with have the “goal” of enhancing and increasing the bond and relationship with their partners.
Openness brought through swinging enables couples to enjoy a vulnerability and honesty in the partnership, in addition to cultivating friendships with other play partners and couples through shared sexual contact. It is through this contact that the energy of swinging is created, a cascade of energy that becomes self-sustaining.
So what are some of the benefits of occasionally swinging?
It’s not so important the quantity with others but how those interactions enhance the quality (and quantity) with your partner. Taking time to really immerse yourself in each experience will allow you to hone in on one of life’s greatest expressions and be present in the moment.
Sometimes knowing I have the freedom to be myself and explore with others if I choose to can be enough, and just because I have the freedom to do something doesn’t necessarily mean I will feel the need to act on that freedom constantly. Through this freedom, I have found I am actually brought closer to my partner.
When John and I decide to partake in some swinging, what makes it so enjoyable is the variety. Just as with about anything else in life, having choices can help us learn about ourselves. What do I like? What am I willing to try? What do I have to offer?
John and I have both had the opportunity to learn different techniques through our lifestyle that we have then been able to bring home and experience with each other!
Part of swinging can be meeting new people who love sex as much as we do, people who have similar interests or hobbies, including travel, food and science fiction fans (John is a nerd at heart and has met some fellow nerds in the lifestyle!).
It’s about finding what works for you as a couple and enjoying others in your life.
Sometimes making a living gets in the way of our life. We have jobs, children, mortgages, those day-to-day responsibilities that move us forward toward our goals, and that is where the balance comes into play.
Remember the “all work and no play makes Jack a dull boy” quote? There is so much truth in it. If we spend all of our time with our nose to the grindstone, then all we see is the stone. Likewise, if we spend all our time playing, our goals suffer.
I have found this same format to be true with swinging. When John and I spend time together, we focus on cultivating our bond and taking care of the day-to-day responsibilities. Playing enables us to stretch ourselves a bit, to run around on the playground so to speak, providing just enough time in both places to keep the fullness of life at its maximum.
So even if you only swing occasionally, it will be an occasion to remember!
Photo sources: wwhan12.wordpress.com, huffingtonpost.com