5 Dating Lessons from “Arrested Development”

Men's Dating

5 Dating Lessons from “Arrested Development”

Jordan Harbinger Jordan Harbinger • 9/25/14

Everyone is pumped about the return of “Arrested Development.” This got me thinking about some of the lessons I’ve learned from that show – other than leaving a note and not trying to teach my father a lesson.

Specifically, I wanted to talk about things I learned about love and dating from watching the Internet’s favorite sitcom.

1. Cousins are dangerous.

Listen, everyone has the cousin they think is hot.

In some places, a relationship with you might be well within the bounds of the law. What’s more, the chances of having a deformed monster baby are pretty minimum, unless you both have parents that are also first cousins.

But remember what Michael says at the end of the series: If things go south, you’re going to seriously strain your relationship with your entire family.

2. Don’t date your mother.

Ah, who can forget when Buster lands in the arms of Lucille 2, a veritable clone of his mother.

A lot of men make the mistake of dating their mothers, though few realize it. This is not only creepy, but it can also reinforce a lot of bad personal patterns you should be trying to grow out of.

Shoot for a woman who has great qualities that complement who you are as a person, not one that can play mommy to you a long time after it’s stopped being appropriate.


“Watch G.O.B. do everything you should never do,

including bragging about women he sleeps with.”

3. Your car doesn’t matter.

Michael gets a lot of dates, even when his primary mode of transportation is a bicycle or the stair car.

A lot of men, particularly where I live in Los Angeles, think their personality and worth is intimately bound up with what kind of car they drive.

Of course, nothing could be further from the truth. The right woman is going to like you for who you are, not what you drive. Stop stressing about your ancient Honda Accord and start taking pride in what’s yours.

4. Learn how to give back rubs.

One thing everyone can agree on – Buster Bluth can give a back rub. If there’s one thing ladies love, it’s a man who can make them relax with a nice back rub.

Some men are naturally gifted in this regard and I’m proud to count myself as one of them. For everyone else, you can take a class or three that will get your back rub skills in tip-top shape.

Then you’ll be known as a man who knows how to make a woman feel good in more ways than one.

5. G.O.B.

George Oscar Bluth Jr., better known as G.O.B., is a walking cautionary tale. He’s an entire graduate course in what not to do in social situations concentrated into one person.

Watch the show and watch G.O.B. do everything you should never do, including having sex with women to spite his brother, bragging too much about the women he sleeps with and generally treating women in a less than gentlemanly way.

Remember, it’s not just about bagging as many women as you can. It’s also about treating everyone around you with respect and having a reputation as an upstanding man with high values.

And that’s why you get your dating lessons from watching television.

Are you ready for the “Arrested Development” premiere? What dating and love lessons have you learned from the show?

Photo source: pmcvariety.wordpress.com.