7 Biggest Mistakes Men Make When Meeting an Online Date
|David Wygant • 1/11/13|
Online dating is one of the best ways to meet women. You always have an endless supply of women who are looking for love. In order to be successful at online dating, however, you need to avoid these seven key mistakes men make when they meet someone for the very first time.
So let’s talk today about the biggest mistakes people make in those first meetings and how you can avoid them so you can have fun dating online and meet an amazing match for you.
1. Staying in Fantasy Land.
When you’re going to have your first in-person meeting with someone you met online, the first thing you need to do is to get the fantasy of that person out of your head.
Whatever that person wrote in their profile is just what they wrote. The real person may be totally different from how they describe themselves in their profile.
A lot of times people write the fantasy version of themselves in their profile. They write what they want to be or who they think they might be, and not who they really are.
So the first thing to do when you meet an online date in person is to forget about their profile, and really just get to know them when you meet.
2. Letting the nerves take over.
When you meet an online date for the first time, so many people sabotage the meeting because they are too nervous. There is no need to ever be nervous on one of these dates.
It is just an opportunity to meet somebody, and nothing more.
Once again, do not build up a fantasy in your head about this person and who you think they are. Get to know them and make your own determination whether you like them.
Also, realize you are an amazing catch who is worth getting to know. If it doesn’t work out with this person, then practice an abundance mindset and realize there are so many more people online you can meet.
3. Making it all about them.
Another mistake so many people make when meeting online dates in person for the first time is totally focusing on what that other person thinks of them. Stop worrying about what they think of you!
People will spend an entire date worrying about how the other person is perceiving them. They will say something they wonder if they should have said, and then instead of staying present will be thinking about that one thing they said for the rest of the date.
What happens when you do that is instead of thinking you had a great time and a chance to meet someone new, you go home and analyze that one thing you said and call all your friends to get their opinion about it.
The truth is you never know what someone else is thinking unless you ask them. This leads right into the next mistake.
“If the person doesn’t look like their
picture, don’t hold it against them.”
4. Not being in the moment.
When you are on any date (not just these “first meetings”), you always want to be present and stay in the moment. You always want to really listen to what the other person is saying and spend the time getting to know that other person and reacting to what they’re saying.
You want to have great conversation where you challenge them on things they’re saying and ask them questions.
A lot of people never stay in the moment and they spend the whole date wondering whether that other person likes them.
What you want to do is when you first meet someone is talk to them like you’re talking to an old friend. Really get to know them better.
If you are excited about the person after you get to know her, then ask her out for a second date based on what intrigued you in the conversation.
5. Projecting a relationship.
So you have a fantasy about who this person is you’re going to be meeting based not only on their profile, but also from all the instant messages, text messages and phone chats you’ve had with them.
That can translate into some expectations for when you meet that person in person that first time. You’ll think to yourself, “This is the person for me. I can tell. I can feel it.”
When you have that mindset going into a first meeting, you are setting yourself up for disappointment. You’re not going to be able to get to know them and you won’t enjoy meeting them.
The whole point of a date is to enjoy that person and get to know them. By eliminating those expectations and thoughts this person is your potential soul mate, and by just just going on the date to get to know that person better, you are giving the meeting a chance to succeed.
6. Focusing on the outcome.
Going into a first meeting focusing on the outcome is a big mistake so many online daters make. This might sound a little bit repetitive, but it’s really not.
When I talk about “focusing on the outcome,” I am talking about spending the whole date worrying about what will happen at the END of the date.
Guys in particular will worry about whether there is going to be a second date, whether there will be a goodnight kiss and whether this first date will lead to more.
Once again, focusing on what might happen after the date instead of what is going on during the date is the quickest way to ruin your chance of connecting with that person.
7. Over-worrying about chemistry.
Worry, worry, worry. So many people will go on one of these first meeting dates totally worried about chemistry.
Men will worry about if and when they will get to kiss the woman or how to touch her on the date. Women will spend dates wondering if the guy will kiss them or if the guy will ask them out again.
All of this not only is a waste of time, but can really ruin what might otherwise be a successful date. Just stay present and enjoy the moment, and chemistry and natural attraction will take care of itself.
Meeting people online is a blast. There’s an abundance out there of people to meet. There are so many wonderful people to meet on Yahoo! Personals.
If a date with someone you’ve met online doesn’t work out, you know you can go home to that wonderful cyber bar to be able to meet other people.
Practice abundance! If the person doesn’t look like their profile picture – no matter if they are heavier or older or whatever – don’t hold it against them.
Don’t worry about it! You’ll meet someone else. Actually, if you practice abundance, you know you’ll meet lots of “someone elses.”
Online dating takes time. Stick with it and it will work. How do I know? I’ve had some wonderful, successful relationships with women I’ve met online.
Photo source: geekandjock.com.