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|April Davis • 9/25/14|
The date was going well, but then you stumbled upon the killer of all great dates: the awkward silence.
It’s that moment when a sudden silence falls upon the dinner table. Neither of you knows what to say, and now the silence is growing deeper and deeper.
It feels like the whole table will be consumed. The longer the silence continues, the less chances you have of ever seeing this date again.
Don’t be an awkward silence victim! Too many potential couples have met this horrible fate, and look where their relationships are now: non-existent.
The key to breaking an awkward silence is to not let one occur in the first place! Here are eight do’s and dont’s to stop an awkward silence from ruining your first date.
The best way to fill any kind of silence is to throw out a compliment. Take a deep breath, relax, shift yourself forward and say “You have beautiful eyes” or “You look very nice this evening.”
A compliment is a surefire way to make your date smile while dissolving any awkwardness.
Smiling, nodding and making eye contact are three key body language moves that encourage your date to keep talking. These moves let them know you are enjoying what they are saying and you want to hear more.
If you are looking away or acting distracted, your date will assume you are not interested, and thus the awkward silence can begin.
Don’t bring up any TMI topics (too much information). No one wants to hear about your weird habits or strange turn-ons. When you are getting to know each other, it’s better to be on your Ps and Qs.
In a similar way, bringing up your ex or asking questions about her ex is off limits on the first date. Not only does it rehash the past, but it just makes for awkward conversation. Leave the past in the past and just think about today.
Talk to your date as if she were the queen, with that much respect and that much politeness.
Unlike The Dude, you need to pay attention to what she’s saying.
People love to talk about themselves. If you are nervous at the beginning, encourage your date to do the talking until you have calmed yourself down. Every time she says something, make a statement that affirms it. Then you can ask a question.
For example, if she says “I just got my dog from the vet.” You can reply “Oh I love dogs. What kind of dog do you have?” And so the conversation continues.
A date is not an interview! The last thing you want after a hard day at work is to go on a date and be drilled.
Avoid questions like “Where do you see yourself in five years?” “What do you think about marriage?” (too soon) or “What is your biggest weakness?” These questions are a surefire way to make your date go running in the opposite direction.
On the first date, you should casually get to know each other, not access if she is ultimate marriage material. At this point, it is more about just seeing if the two of you click.
I always encourages clients to go on active dates to avoid the sit-down dinner date.
Whether you go rock climbing, bowling or just simply walking in the park, being in a new environment always encourages conversation.
These activities allow you to relax and open up about yourself more and not feel the pressure to keep the conversation going.
Getting to know your date means it is safe to ask the likes and dislikes questions. You want to see how much you have in common!
Ask about movies, favorite food, favorite drinks, music and other hobbies and talents. These questions are important to see if you have the same tastes.
Sometimes it doesn’t matter what you do or say – you have just landed a boring date. If your date is boring and awkward, don’t stress yourself. There are plenty more fish in the sea.
Forcing conversation is not any fun. It’s totally fine to be honest with your date (only if they ask for a second date) and say you didn’t feel like you had a connection.
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