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She’s hot. She likes you. She gave you her number. She wants you to shoot her a text.
Looks like you’ve got this one in the bag, right? Wrong.
Careful, cowboy. You don’t. Not even close. In fact, you are precariously balancing on the edge of the cliff.
Too many guys without a clue on how to text a girl have blown it. Unless you know the secrets to effectively texting a girl, you stand a good chance of killing any sparks you may have ignited in person.
Here are four mistakes you should avoid when texting a girl:
Texting is not a place for boorish and boring small talk. Don’t text a girl and say something lame like “Hi.”
Only text something that reveals what a totally cool dude you are and how you are living this awesome life, giving her a glimpse of how awesome it is.
For instance, you can send a text like: “Whoop! At World Series! Red Sox are kicking butt!”
But don’t send a text like this: “Sitting home alone watching world series by myself and getting drunk because I’m a loser without friends.”
What if you really are sitting home watching the game alone? Then put a little bit of a spin on your text — and your activities: “This is the BEST night ever. Sox kick butt. I’m going to be hungover tomorrow. So worth it!”
Get it? Same situation with a little spin-doctor help. You can also keep things a bit of a mystery to keep her interested. Don’t lie. Just omit that you are sitting home by yourself. She doesn’t need to know.
If she asks whom you are with, don’t answer directly. Say something like, “Why? Are you jealous? Do you wish you were here? Maybe if you prove you’re not a serial killer, I’ll invite you over for game five.”
“Texting is one of many skills you
need to be successful with women.”
Which leads me to the next tip:
Learn the difference between being a jackhole and effectively teasing a girl through text.
Because it is impossible — yes impossible — to ensure you are conveying the right tone through text, be very, very careful about your use of teasing to build attraction.
Avoid the creep factor. Unless you have already been intimate with the girl, avoid anything sexual, innuendos included, or she’s going to run for the hills.
There are two exceptions to this nearly ironclad rule.
The first is if you were already talking about doing the nasty in person — when you first met — and are just continuing your conversation in that vein. In that case, you’re good to go.
The second exception is if she gets dirty first and you’re just playing along with the game.
Otherwise, if you just flirted a little at the club, got her number and then sent her a text with a sexual innuendo, you don’t come across as sexy in the least. Instead, you will appear scary, like a stalker, and might as well delete her number from your phone.
I’ve saved the most important mistake for last:
Don’t think texting is going to get you laid. Texting is only one of many skills you need to be successful with women. Never, ever, forget that texting is merely a tool in your dating toolbox.
When you send a text, make sure every single word you write is working toward the ultimate goal — sparking enough attraction to garner that in-person meeting.
Unless you are able to arrange a meeting in person, the texting is useless. The purpose of texting is to help you nab a date, a meeting, a hookup or whatever.
It is merely a weapon in your dating arsenal. It is a means to an end. Every single word you send should be geared toward achieving that meeting. Good luck!
Photo source: concourse.io.