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|Bethany Heinesh • 8/06/12|
Guys, when it comes to planning a first date, heed my warning: You better get it right or you might cancel any hope of getting a second date. Planning a great first date can be a tricky proposition if you’re not a natural-born Casanova or generally romantic guy.
In a sincere attempt to wow your girl with a good time, you may make the mistake of planning a bad date, one that is not conducive to a productive evening. Furthermore, you may have a genuine desire to wow her and mistakenly believe that means you need to flash big bucks and take her on a trip to Tokyo or something.
If anything, men are usually guilty of taking the first date too far and overwhelming women with too much glitz and glam. Or, they underestimate the importance of the context of the evening, focusing more on the setting than what she’s saying.
Typically, I believe first dates should be low-key, relatively inexpensive and centered on conversation. The rule is: Keep it simple.
Planning a great second date is a much smarter move in my opinion, because the second date is about having fun together and impressing her with your creativity and willingness to go the extra mile to make her smile.
If you’re not sure where to take your date on that first night out, and you have a few ideas you’re not sure about, use this checklist as a guide. It’s guaranteed to steer you clear of the horrifying, and ever imminent, bad first date.
Always remember your date is very nervous about going out with you. Every one of your actions and decisions should be motivated by the realization that your most important job for the evening is to ease her level of nervousness.
No sudden movements, loud noises or forward advancements, lest you scare her away. Be calm, cool and collected. She’ll pick up on your confidence and relax a little more.
“For most women, a first date is only as
bad as the man sitting across the table.”
Taking her anywhere that will force her to reevaluate her shoe selection for the evening is a bad idea. Shoes are important to us, and we want to wear pretty ones because we are convinced they will impress you.
Bowling alleys, trips to the zoo and other activities that involve comfortable shoes, unless previously agreed upon, should be avoided.
Furthermore, unless you and your gal are exercise enthusiasts, and you have prearranged for an active first date, never invite a woman to work out or participate in sports on a first date, for obvious reasons.
Weird foods are a no-no. You may think you’re amazing her by taking her out for sushi or Thai food or Mediterranean veggies to show off your cultural interest in culinary delights, but chances are, she’ll be too uneasy to appreciate your efforts.
Also, keep in mind that many women are vegetarians or have religious associations with eating practices. Be sure to ask your date if she is Kosher or has any other specific eating aversions.
Loud places and lots of alcohol should not be on the menu. Women generally want to talk on the first date, and being somewhere with a ridiculous bass makes that next to impossible.
Alcohol just invites poor judgment, tacky behavior and lowered inhibitions. Being out of control around a stranger is never a good place to be.
Super swanky spaces should be averted. Some women, me included, have no interest going to some fancy eatery where we don’t feel comfortable. Middle of the road — that’s where you want to be when it comes to price, atmosphere and location. When in doubt, be more conservative than extravagant.
Burn these places into your brain as bad date spots and never, ever make the mistake of taking a woman to any of these places on a first date: X-rated movies, an overnight trip, your mother’s house, any place where there is even a 1 percent chance you will run into your ex, a haunted house, a keg party, a strip club or another country.
For most women, a first date is only as bad as the man sitting across the table. If you are easygoing, fun, humorous, respectful and just generally good company, your date will think you had a great first date together — no matter where you go or what number of embarrassing things happened throughout the evening.
If, on the other hand, you are rude, boring, obnoxious, racist, weird and an all-out pig, you could take us on a private trip to Heaven and toast champagne all night, but we’ll remember it as the evening we went to hell and back.