I remember being in a bar with a friend one time watching the two hottest women in there get hit on all night long, while they shot each guy. So, I went up to them and said “I just want you to know my friend and I are enjoying watching you two shoot down all the guys hitting on you tonight. It’s hilarious; keep it up!” And then I went back to my friend.
Well, for the rest of the night, every time a guy came up to them, the girls would look over at us and roll their eyes. Eventually, they came over to talk to us to share some of the weak attempts guys were using on them. With this success, I realized I may have actually created a pick-up line that worked.
Here are some of the most amazing, funny, and awful pick-up lines, which I’ve crowdsourced from men and women, to share with your friends or perhaps even use out at a party.
Best Pick-Up Lines That Work (#1-3)
To get you off on the right foot, let’s start with the pick-up lines that are the cream of the crop.
1. “Hi, My Name Is [insert name].”
I’d say this one is the number one pick-up line of all time. Just go up and introduce yourself. You’ll be surprised at how well it works.
2. “You Must Be Worried Now That Donald Trump is President Because He Would Deport You Back to Heaven.”
This one is topical and cute, and I pretty much guarantee they have never heard this one before. Fresh is always fun.
3. “You’re So Beautiful That You Made Me Forget My Pick-Up Line.”
While this is sort of an anti-pick up line, it’s still a pick-up line. However, it’s good because it’s acknowledging the fact that it’s a line and you know it. Plus, it’s flattering and inoffensive.
Cheesy Pick-Up Lines That Work (#4-6)
Sometimes the fun is in the cheese. I personally love cheesy jokes. Getting a groan is as good as a laugh if that’s what you are going for. You just have to make sure they’re not over-the-top cheesy and the recipient knows it’s supposed to cheesy, not that you’re actually trying. Viola, the best cheesy pick-up lines:
4. “If I Could Rearrange the Alphabet, I’d Put ‘U’ and ‘I’ Together.”
This pick-up line is cheesy but also sort of sweet. It’s definitely a well-known one, so she’ll know you aren’t trying to be original but lighthearted. Plus, it hints at the “if I had the power, I would change the world for you” type of mentality. Most girls love to hear that, even if they know it’s in jest.
5. “I Might Not Be Fred Flintstone, But I Can Make Your Bed Rock.”
A little wordplay and a little nostalgia with some good innuendo and you’ve got your next intro. This can work because the wordplay shows a bit of wit and intelligence, but the obviousness of the wordplay is what gives it the characteristic groan when you hear it. And, if she’s young, she might not know who Fred Flintstone is, and then you have a great conversation-starter.
6. “I Seem to Have Lost My Phone Number. Can I Have Yours?”
Again, an oldie but a goodie. It’s fun because the minute you say you lost something, people immediately start thinking about helping you. When you add that little bit of misdirection at the end, it creates a little gotcha moment. And if it’s delivered right, you never know, she might give you her number.
Dirty Pick-Up Lines That Work (#7-9)
Everyone likes to get a little dirty sometimes, but these pick-up lines shouldn’t be said to people who you’re meeting for the first time. However, if you know them a bit or want to mess with one of your friends, these are some great ones if you’re going for the shock factor. If it goes well, you’ve got them thinking naughty thoughts, so you’ve got that goin’ for you.
7. “As Long as I Have a Face, You’ll Always Have Somewhere to Sit.”
This one works if your delivery is done with earnestness — like you are offering up kind words or a favor. It’s even better if you can do it when she’s looking for somewhere to sit. There’s almost an innocence in it. You’re just so magnanimous that you’re graciously offering up your face to alleviate your friend’s plight.
8. “Have a Mirror in Your Pocket? Because I Can See Myself in Your Pants.”
I think this one works best when there’s a generous pause between the two sentences. At first, she may think you’re serious, like you have something stuck in your teeth, so she starts looking around or thinking if she has one in her purse. Then you drop the second half and it’ll take a second or two for it to sink in. When it does, you’ll get the one raised eyebrow look, to which you respond with a radiant smile.
9. “Were You Born on a Farm? ‘Cause You Sure Know How to Raise Cock!”
This one is for shock value, plain and simple. The first part is heard a lot in pick-up lines: “Was your father a baker?” “Was your dad a thief?” It’s the setup for the second part of the line, so, many times, she’ll be aware there’s something about to come her way. She’s just trying to figure out what it is. When you lay down the second half, it’s so direct and unexpected that it’ll be sure to provoke a reaction. However, that reaction might be horror and outrage, so use this one wisely.
Funny Pick-Up Lines That Work (#10-12)
Everyone loves to laugh. Many women say a sense of humor is among the ideal characteristics of a possible mate. If you can get her to laugh, you’re already part of the way there to a romantic rendezvous. There is a jokey element to these that let you get away with the pick-up aspect.
10. “Excuse Me, But Does Your Mother Need a Son-in-Law?”
The “excuse me” catches their attention, and they’ll be wondering what comes next. When you continue, it’ll be something she wasn’t expecting. Plus, she’ll do some quick calculations to figure out what you mean. It gives a second or two of figuring out time. When she finally does figure it out, give her a big smile and laugh.
11. **Pretends to Check Her Shirt Tag** “Oh Sorry, Just Looking for the ‘Made in Heaven’ Tag.”
She might think her tag is out and you’re being a gentleman and tucking it back in for her. When you start apologizing, she’s going to wonder what it is you’re apologizing for, so she’ll be a little confused for a moment. When you say “made in heaven,” she’ll realize it was a line, but who wouldn’t want to be thought of as being from heaven?
12. **Licks Finger, Touches Shirt, Licks Finger, Touches Her Shirt** What Do You Say We Get Out of These Wet Clothes?”
This line is one of the ones I crowdsourced, and one that you’ll want to be really careful with. You can’t just go around touching anyone. However, with the right person, this line can be fun because with the actions you’re doing, you can draw it out a bit. She’s looking at you, trying to figure out what you are doing but knowing there’s probably going to be a payoff. After you touch her and nothing happens, she’s wondering what’s up. Then you meet her eyes and say the pick-up line. It’s just so silly that a lot of women probably can’t help laughing.
Cute Pick Up Lines That Work (#13-15)
Most women love cute things. Puppy dogs, Nicholas Sparks movies, and giggly babies often trigger that nurturing and caring aspect, so why not feed into that by giving her a cute pick-up line? These work because, shucks, it’s just too difficult to get annoyed with you when you’re just so gosh darn cute!
13. “Hey, Check Out My Shirt. It’s So Soft. Do You Know What It’s Made Of? Boyfriend Material.”
Women know that men know that women like fashion. When you start this one, she might think you’re trying to strike up a conversation on the benefits of Jersey or Pima cotton. If done right, you’re getting her to touch you. When the last part of it comes out, she’ll realize you’ve played her a bit. But it’s just so cute!
14. “Do You Play Soccer? You Look Like a Keeper.”
The first question actually sounds like a normal question you could ask someone, so their guard isn’t expecting it to be a pick-up line, and as “keeper” has two meanings, it’s clever as well. While she knows it’s a line, it’s so complimentary and sweet that you’ll hopefully get a dimpled smile in return.
15. “Are You Going to Put That Lipstick on Now? I Don’t Want to Mess It Up.”
With this one, you have to be topical. Meaning, you have to have it on backup, waiting for just the right moment. Then, when you finally see a woman take out her makeup, you’re locked and loaded. At first, she’ll wonder why you’re asking about her makeup. Even when she realizes it, you’re being a chivalrous lad by making sure she’s always going to look her best. Go you.
Romantic Pick-Up Lines That Work (#16-18)
Believe it or not, there are some pick-up lines that are downright romantic. Granted, they still are pick-up lines, but even some of them can tug at the heartstrings of a woman. The reason these can be gold is you’re wrapping humor, some sexuality and sensuality, romance, and wit all together.
16. “Your Lips are Wine and I Want to Get Drunk Tonight.”
A lot of women want to think they’re so intoxicating that men can’t stay away from them, and while eyes may be the window to the soul, lips are the doors to sensuality. Similar to wanting drink after drink, you’re telling her you want kiss after kiss after kiss…
17. “You Know, They Say We Only Use 10% of Our Brains, But I Think We Only Use 10% of Our Hearts.”
While it’s not in the same format as others, it’s definitely a line made to pick up a woman. It needs to be sold correctly, though. Make sure you give her your doe eyes, tilt your head, put your hands over your heart, and look forlorn. Even though she knows it’s a line, you’re at least selling yourself as sweet, loving, and emotionally open. These are never bad things to have her think of you.
18. “If I Had a Rose for Every Time I Thought of You, I’d Be Walking Through a Garden Forever.”
This one is simple and sweet and lets her know you can’t stop thinking of her. When you do think of her, the thoughts are like flowers in your mind. The image of a man meandering through gardens of roses while pining for his love is straight out of the best romantic comedy that has never existed. You get bonus points if you change “rose” to her favorite flower.
Bonus: Worst Pick-Up Lines That Never Work
There are pick-up lines, and there are pick-up lines. Men may think these are funny, but I guarantee they will blow up in your face. So, please don’t ever use these.
1. “Do You Have a Keg in Your Pants? ‘Cause I’d Sure Love to Tap That.”
Nothing turns a woman off faster than being objectified, and this line feeds directly into that. It’s crude and rude, and it’ll put her in a bad mood.
2. “If You Were a Booger, I’d Pick You First.”
When you hear yourself compared to bodily excretions, that’s usually the time to turn around and walk away. Snot does not equal sexytime.
3. “That Dress is Very Becoming on You. If I Were You, I’d Be Coming, Too.”
If you’re trying to woo a woman, giving her this kind of visual is usually not the way to go.
Pick-Up Lines are All About Getting a Conversation Started
Remember pick-up lines are just to stimulate conversations. My first words to my wife were “So I see we have the same favorite author” over social media. That opened the door, and here I am today. Pick-up lines are a crutch to help you get over that first interaction, and they’re meant to amuse. Try to come up with your own pick-up lines — just like I casually stumbled upon a good one at the bar with my friend. Keep in mind, though, that if you come at women too hard with a pick-up line, you can easily give off the creeper vibe, so tread wisely.
Photo sources: storypick.com, popsugar.com, aliexpress.com, marketo.com, pinterest.com, rewireme.com, tellyouall.com