Can Men and Women Have Chemistry Online?

Men's Dating

Can Men and Women Have Chemistry Online?

Sam Stieler Sam Stieler • 6/17/15

The growth of online dating has been positive for men, allowing guys to meet women in a safe environment where everyone is single and most users log on with the expectation to actually meet someone to go out with.

Compared with the often intimidating bar or nightclub environment, the world of online dating is conducive for making the sort of connection that might actually result in a deep, lasting relationship.

Yet some men remain skeptical about their chances of success signing up for a dating website, chiefly because they wonder whether it’s actually possible to discover and develop chemistry with someone online.

This is a legitimate concern and an important question to answer. After all, if you aren’t able to determine whether or not you have chemistry with someone online, then how are you supposed to know whether they’re worth asking out on a real-world date?

What is chemistry anyway?

Unfortunately, the mechanisms inherent within online dating throw up some barriers between you, the woman you’re interested in and your chances of figuring out if there’s a spark between the two of you.

Chemistry is a powerful, uncontrollable reaction you feel when you come in direct contact with another individual whom you instantly connect with. Chemistry is a shared emotion, a two-way bodily feeling that seems to send channels of energy between you and the woman who has captured your attention so totally.

Those experiences we identify as “chemistry” almost always occur when we meet someone in person, and this chemistry often comes out of nowhere. You can’t plan chemistry and you can’t predict it. You feel it when you feel it.

Can you begin to see why chemistry and online dating may contradict each other?


“Whether you share chemistry with

someone you meet online is a gamble.”

Online dating creates chemistry buffers.

How does an online dating connection occur?

  • You browse through a list of women.
  • You run into a member who catches your interest.
  • You then look at her pictures.
  • You read through her profile to find something to message her about.
  • She takes a similar process to determine whether, and how, she will respond.

Pretty cold and calculated, huh? Online dating revolves around a series of primarily cerebral decisions, not emotional, and the whole process is massively, massively indirect.

Is online dating chemistry a myth?

Not quite. The mechanisms of online dating don’t entirely contradict chemistry. When you start messaging back and forth with a woman, you will quickly be able to determine whether the two of you seem to be on the same page or not.

If the two of you share electrifying messages and chats with each other, there’s a very good chance you will share some real chemistry when you meet in person.

Still, the whole question of whether you share chemistry with someone you meet online is a gamble, with no way to determine the answer unless you take the plunge and have a little direct contact where you can finally determine whether or not those sparks you imagine are real.