Dating and Drinking: How Much is Too Much?
|Nick Slade • 8/17/12|
Dating and drinking go together like, well, a horse and carriage. But how much is too much for a man to drink on the first date? Does it really affect her impression of you? What if she’s drinking right along with you? What if you can handle your alcohol?
Good questions, all. There are few things that can settle your first date jitters like a nice glass of wine or other “social lubricant.” But there is also very little that can undermine a budding relationship like a sloppy drunk.
Let’s look at some guidelines for acceptable drinking behavior on a first date.
Don’t start without her.
Sure, you’re a little nervous and you want to be relaxed and charming when you meet for your date. However, a little nervous tension can be a great thing to work through with your date.
Never show up for a date with a shot or two of “courage” already under your belt. She will know and it is hard to think of a scenario in which this could work out well for you.
So, you’re a little uptight and paralyzed by her beauty. She’s got a tummy full of butterflies too, you know. Ask if she would like to order a glass of wine or a drink. If she’s not in the mood, ask her if it’s OK if you get a small glass of wine. Let her know you just want to calm your nerves a bit.
But a word of warning: Don’t order a double shot of tequila with a beer back. She will see red flags waving and might instantly change her opinion of you. Wine, or maybe a small scotch on the rocks, are the classy and safe ways to go.
“Alcohol can be a great tool for
relaxation when used in moderation.”
If you are both having an alcoholic beverage, always keep an eye on her drink so you don’t double her pace, especially if you are both having beer. You are used to drinking with the guys. The first one goes down in just a few minutes, and then you have another.
Not this time. Women have common sense about drinking and don’t attack a drink the way a starving dog attacks a bowl of kibble.
Take smaller sips and don’t get too far ahead of her. You do not want to reorder before she’s ready if at all possible. She can’t judge you poorly if she’s drinking at the same rate. And you also want to make a couple of drinks last through a nice long conversation.
If you’re dining, order water when the food comes. If an hour passes since your two pre-meal drinks, one more for dessert might be OK. Although, it might impress her if you don’t have another so you can drive safely.
One more thing — you’ll be watching her beverage to set your pace anyway, so make sure you notice if she seems to be stuck with a nearly-full drink in front of her for a long while. She may be having a hard time with the taste, especially if it’s beer.
So tell her, “How about I take that beer off your hands or send it back with the waiter and get you a strawberry daiquiri?” It’s what Prince Charming would do.
Drinking and romance.
Before you go out for your date, set yourself some limits and guidelines. If this is a girl you want to impress and see again, then those limits should include: No more than two or three drinks during a five-hour date, no more than one drink more than her (if she’s not drinking, you only get one), and no sex on the first date.
Too harsh? Maybe not. Maybe you can handle more than three drinks with the guys, but can she handle more than that? Do you want to out-drink her by several drinks so she can tell you are noticeably drunker than she is? Do you want her to think you are trying to get her drunk so she will lose her inhibitions?
Let me answer for you: No, no, and hell no.
Alcohol can be a great tool for relaxation when used in moderation. But in excess, it can unleash the untamed beast in both of you before your relationship is ready to survive such behavior.
When drinking allows either of you to go beyond her boundaries of trust and intimacy that have thus far been earned, it can only work against you.
The idea on a first date is not to take all you can get. The idea is to impress your lady with your maturity, good sense, gentlemanly behavior and patience.
Let her be the one to go home with thoughts of how she can please you a little more next time — and with no morning headache to dampen her emotions.