Her Ex Died and She Needs Time. How Do I Show Her I Care?

Dr. Wendy Walsh Dr. Wendy Walsh • 9/25/14

Reader Question:

There is a woman (w/young child) that lives next to me. She seems to like me but when I asked her out, she said her ex-husband had died last August and she needs time.

What should I do in the meantime to show I do like her without being overbearing or insensitive?

-William Webb

Dr. Wendy Walsh’s Answer:

Oh William, I wish you lived next door to me!

OK, this is easy. Start to be helpful. Here are things single mothers need: carry groceries, offer to fix something or do paint touch ups, mow the lawn, shovel the snow.

In fact, do just about anything her husband might have done. (Don’t offer childcare. That can be creepy from a single guy neighbor.) Do these acts with a smile and no expectations in return.

If she likes you, she may chat longer with you on the porch as you leave. She may eventually invite you in for dinner.

If she does none of these things, know this: You are a good man who is doing a kind thing for a neighbor. Other women will notice this because the goodness will seep out your pores. This kindness will be repaid somewhere.

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