Out of the 20 or so guys I dated before getting married, I think it’s fair to say I’m really only friends with one of them. And that’s because we were best friends prior to adding romantic elements into the mix. Either way, it’s a delicate dance to remain friends (or even just be on good terms) with an ex.
For guys, it’s even more difficult. What is it that women want once a relationship has ended? Do they want to be friends? Or do they just not want to see you date anyone else?
Here are a few different situations and the best ways to handle them.
1. You were friends before a couple.
The relationship started off as friends and the two of you decided you’d make a fabulous romantic pairing, but then you realized you should have just stayed friends.
In this case, staying on good terms is very important. The two of you should try your best to put the failed relationship behind you and continue your chummy nature.
2. You wouldn’t have considered one another friends.
You start dating the friend of a friend of a friend and after a few months, the spark sizzles out.
Do you make a big effort to be on good terms and stay friendly? Nah, don’t sweat it. You were never really friends in the first place.
Be kind and act like a reasonable grown-up, but don’t go out of your way to set her up with your buddies or take her to a ballgame.
3. The two of you are like oil and water.
If the relationship ended on horrible terms (i.e. you were throwing things at each other and it’s even suspected she dipped your toothbrush in the toilet), then you need to cut your losses and move on.
The truth is, most likely, neither of you will truly be happy for the other person finding love.
Remaining friends or at least just on good terms with your ex has its pros and cons. But, in all honesty, the only litmus test is if the two of you were even friends to begin with. If so, try your best to keep the friendship going. If not, don’t exert too much effort to the cause.