How to Be On Good Terms With an Ex

September 12, 2012
How to Be On Good Terms With an Ex

Out of the 20 or so guys I dated before getting married, I think it’s fair to say I’m really only friends with one of them. And that’s because we were best friends prior to adding romantic elements into the mix. Either way, it’s a delicate dance to remain friends (or even just be on good terms) with an ex.

For guys, it’s even more difficult. What is it that women want once a relationship has ended? Do they want to be friends? Or do they just not want to see you date anyone else?

Here are a few different situations and the best ways to handle them.

1. You were friends before a couple.

The relationship started off as friends and the two of you decided you’d make a fabulous romantic pairing, but then you realized you should have just stayed friends.

In this case, staying on good terms is very important. The two of you should try your best to put the failed relationship behind you and continue your chummy nature.

2. You wouldn’t have considered one another friends.

You start dating the friend of a friend of a friend and after a few months, the spark sizzles out.

Do you make a big effort to be on good terms and stay friendly? Nah, don’t sweat it. You were never really friends in the first place.

Be kind and act like a reasonable grown-up, but don’t go out of your way to set her up with your buddies or take her to a ballgame.

3. The two of you are like oil and water.

If the relationship ended on horrible terms (i.e. you were throwing things at each other and it’s even suspected she dipped your toothbrush in the toilet), then you need to cut your losses and move on.

The truth is, most likely, neither of you will truly be happy for the other person finding love.

Remaining friends or at least just on good terms with your ex has its pros and cons. But, in all honesty, the only litmus test is if the two of you were even friends to begin with. If so, try your best to keep the friendship going. If not, don’t exert too much effort to the cause.

Kara Pound is an award-winning journalist based in St. Augustine, Fla. She holds a Bachelor of Science in Journalism from Flagler College. Her work has been published in INKED, Natural Awakenings, Design Aglow, Memphis Flyer, Jacksonville Magazine, E/Environmental Magazine and dozens more. Check out some of Kara's work at Connect with her on Google+.

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3 Responses

    If you met my ex, you’d know there’s no chance of being on good terms! I don’t know what happened to the woman I once knew-

      I can relate

      I had a boyfriend who was absolutely wonderful. He was charming, handsome, smart, easy to talk to, we had enough interests in common to have fun together but could still be happy when we weren’t together, and he was very supportive of me. When I changed fields and was finally happy with my current job, he completely changed. :-/

      I think a lot of times distance between our current state and the time of the breakup can help alleviate whether we’re on good terms or not- after awhile, if you have no contact with the person, who even cares anymore, right?

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