How Can I Stop Fighting With My Girlfriend?

Bethany Heinesh Bethany Heinesh • 9/25/14

If you’re constantly fighting with your girlfriend, it’s time to reevaluate your relationship. Bickering is to be expected between a man and woman who are romantically involved, and psychologists even say disagreements are healthy. Regular, heated fights, never-ending nagging and an overall sense of relentless strife, however, is far from normal.

The best way to stop fighting with your girlfriend is to stop fighting with your girlfriend. Take a step back and create some physical distance so you can gain some perspective. When you’re in the middle of a conflict, emotions run high, making it next to impossible to see the situation for what it is. Take a trip with a buddy and go fishing, take your Harley for a long ride to the beach or go hit a few golf balls. Engage in whatever activity you associate with letting off steam. Ask yourself some very important questions:

  • Is your relationship worth fighting for?
  • What is your relationship based on — sex, power or codependency?
  • Is it love?
  • Do you respect this woman?
  • What is at the center of your arguments?

If the two of you seem to be going in circles around the same core issues, you may not be a good match for each other. If it’s because you keep leaving your stanky drawers on the floor, shape up! If it’s over something trivial, consider a compromise, kiss, make up and move on. Make love, not war!