How Do I Take My Girlfriend Talking About Me to Her Friend?

Kara Pound Kara Pound • 9/25/14

Reader Question:

I went through my girlfriend’s things, which was wrong. She was telling her friend that I was not good looking but that I was the sweetest guy she’s met and she loves me. How should I take this?

-John G. (Illinois)

Expert’s Advice:

Hey John G.,

Thanks for your question. I suppose I’m curious to know why you went through her things. Was it to get back at her for saying you aren’t good looking or was it to try and find evidence of how she truly feels for you? Either way, you are in the wrong. You say that she loves you and I’m assuming you love her back? If so, why would you betray her trust and go through her things? That’s an immature response to something she (most likely) told her friends in confidence.

The mature way to handle this situation is to confront your girlfriend and say something like, “I’ve heard from a few people that you’re going around and telling them that you don’t find me good looking. That really hurts my feelings and makes me question why you want to be with me.” You were originally the victim in this situation but quickly turned yourself into the chump by going through her things. The two of you need to have a serious, sit-down conversation and air your dirty laundry if you’d like any chance at a successful relationship.