Image is everything when it comes to dating. You may be as sexy as you feel, but you are only as desirable as you appear to be. That doesn’t mean you need movie-star good looks to attract a great lady, but you do need to have the swag or presence to be seen as a man of high value.
Fortunately, different women find value in different aspects of the masculine mystique and are attracted by different kinds of men — but lethargic, forgettable blob is not one of them.
Take an inventory. If you want to set a course to your destination, you have to begin by knowing your starting point. Take a good look at yourself, inside and out, and make a list of your good points and the things that need work.
Start in front of the mirror and have a mens magazine or even a Sunday department store ad with you. Start at the top, and work your way down.
- Does your hair look clean, styled and a good frame for your face?
- Are your eyes puffy and dead, or do they sparkle with life?
- Are there unneeded hairs between your eyebrows that should be removed?
- Are you smiling as an approachable guy, or do you look bored?
- Are your teeth white?
- Does that sparse mustache improve your appearance or detract from it?
- Is your shirt modern and fashionable?
- Have you packed on a few extra pounds lately?
- Are your pants the right length?
“The little successes you have along the way will
motivate you to become a better man every day.”
Do the same kind of thing with your inner “look.” Work on your confidence, which begins with eye contact and genuine smiles. Be an engaging force and not a source of negative energy.
Pay attention to your nervous ticks, like touching your face for no reason or not knowing what to do with your hands. Make sure every movement has a purpose. Stand and sit erect.
Take up space when you’re seated, with one ankle on your knee. Make sure your shoulders are not hunched, which makes you appear timid, small and unimportant. Keep your hands apart and elbows a bit wide.
Accentuate the positive and eliminate the negative.
When you’re done with your assessment, it’s just a matter of showing off the good things, improving the things that need work, and eliminating the negative things.
Don’t tell the hair stylist what you want, but tell her to give you a stylish cut that will make you look good. The way to get the brightness back into your eyes and smile is to get a little exercise, get to bed a lot earlier, and get up a little earlier.
Have a light healthy breakfast, and incorporate more fruits and vegetables and fewer carbs into your lunch and dinner.
Billy Crystal was famous for his “Saturday Night Live” character, Fernando, in the recurring “Fernando’s Hideaway” skit. His famous tag line was, “It’s better to look good than to feel good.”
The truth is, looking good and feeling good are interactive qualities. When you look good, you feel better about yourself and you become more confident and capable. When you feel good, it shows through your eyes and actions and you become a much more appealing person for others to be with.
Think about the kind of man you want to be and the kind of women you want to attract, and then set a course to achieve your goal. The only difference between Ryan Seacrest and a beggar on the street is fashionable attire, a winning smile and some drive and confidence.
Henry Higgins took Eliza Doolittle from selling flowers on the street to being “My Fair Lady” simply by bringing out and refining the qualities she already had. Start with your appearance and a healthy lifestyle, and the little successes you have along the way will motivate you to become a better man every day.
Image really is everything, especially when it stops being “imaginary” and you start living and feeling like the man you really are.