How Men Can Stop Bad Dating Habits
|Nick Slade • 7/30/12|
Does your love life seem like a series of bad movies?
- Bad Relationship 1: “I Fell for a Tramp.”
- Bad Relationship 2: “She’s Just Like His Ex!”
- Bad relationship 3: “Doofus Steps in It Again!”
- Bad relationship 4: “Will He Ever Learn?”
Whether you’re fixated on a type of girl who will never be right for you, or you just keep screwing up those first few dates with moves that will never win her heart, you can still turn things around and find your true love.
1. Forget about your “type.”
It should be obvious to you after a few failed relationships, a dozen bad dating experiences, and a hundred bullets for just approaching women that your ideal type is not that into you. It’s time to grow up and look at things that really matter.
The “type” you liked in the magazines you brought into the bathroom when you were 15 will not necessarily give you the same great experience in real life.
If you think your type has anything to do with looks, hair color, breast size, ethnicity, eyes, or attire, then you have a serious problem. Base your preferences around a woman’s inner qualities and you might have better luck.
You can’t understand why all of those sexy hoochie mamas turned out to be gold diggers? You’re sure the next one will be different? You could be right.
Tip: Try looking for a sweetheart who looks a bit conservative on the outside. She might be saving all her love for you.
“The only one who can break you
of your bad dating habits is you.”
2. Avoid needy women.
Some men learn they can find women easily if they figure out how to identify the needy ones and help them out. Maybe they are always recently dumped by guys on the rebound who just need to be held and feel loved.
You’ll get lucky easily and she will give you amazing hugs and passionate (and sometimes tearful) kisses. But once she zaps all of your strength and begins to heal, she will open her eyes and move on.
She might be down on her luck and need a place to stay or need some money to fix her car or feed her kids. She might give you some sexual appreciation too, but it takes a healthy heart to feel real love.
If you’re building a pattern of failure around needy women, just remember that what comes too easily, goes away easily as well.
3. Take your time with women of value.
Don’t rush your dates into the bedroom. Women love sex just as much as you do, so you may be able to ply them with a few drinks and get them to give it all up before you’ve earned it.
She will not look at that as a victory the next morning the way you will. She will feel as though she failed herself, and she may feel as though you treated her like less than the lady she is.
Dating is not about sex. Dating is about finding a good partnership and then building a relationship, which will eventually include plenty of sex.
Focus on the friendship and building a bond first, and she will eventually jump into your spider web.
4. Don’t keep doing the same things over and over.
You know that whatever you’re doing it always leads to Dumpsville. Meet every new lady with a clean slate and a fresh approach, and make your dates special just for her.
Don’t go to the same restaurant where you always take women on your first dates, even though they all like it and things are good for a while.
Ask her what she likes, find some common interests, and step out of your comfort zone and into hers. Be a gentleman at all times. Don’t talk about yourself. Get her talking about herself and things she enjoys.
Listen carefully and learn. Find out what she looks for in guys and what she didn’t like about some of her past dates with other guys.
Every woman is unique, so don’t treat them like identical minnows in a bucket. Don’t think of her as “girl.” Get to know her as “Janice.” Call her by her name, and cater to her comfort and ease.
Make it a point to learn something special and unique about her, and then make her feel as special as she is.
There are a hundred different directions we could take this discussion, but the only one who can break you of your bad dating habits is you.
Don’t blame the women for your failures, and really try to identify how your unsuccessful relationships and dates have progressed.
Think about what the common threads might be with the relationships you had with different girls and where they started to go wrong. Then do something different.