How to Approach Women at the Gym

Men's Dating

How to Approach Women at the Gym

Bethany Heinesh Bethany Heinesh • 9/25/14

Meeting women at the gym can be a sticky situation — pun intended. Most women at the gym are hot and sweaty and their thighs stick to the seat of the stationary bike when they try to get up, which is not a good look for meeting a guy.

When we go to the gym, most women go there for one reason and one reason only and that is to stop the perpetual sag and jiggle of certain body parts. This means when we walk through that door, we have tunnel vision: “Get to the elliptical, get to the elliptical, get to the elliptical.” Meeting a man and making a date for Friday night is the last thing on the list.

This is not to say the gym isn’t a good place to meet good women because, believe it or not, Cupid does frequent health clubs, accompanying many women as they make their way around the workout circuit. Plenty of couples met at the gym and have since become life partners and workout partners. It is particularly easy for an athletic man to approach an athletic woman at the gym because they speak the same language. A woman who is in great shape does not feel intimidated by men at the gym and she is easily approachable.

For many of us, though, going to the gym is unbelievably difficult and walking through the door takes incredible strength. We feel vulnerable at the gym, and the last thing we need is some guy to come along and make us feel even more self-conscious. Of course, meeting a great woman at the gym is possible.


“Remember, when approaching a woman at the gym,

do so with confidence but not with arrogance.”

Here are a few tips that will help increase your chances:

1. Don’t talk to her while she is working out.

Wait until she is finished with her routine. Never, ever, ever go up to some woman while she is red-faced and grunting her way through lifting weights. She’ll hate you for it.

2. Catch her on the way in.

The best time to talk to a woman at the gym is when she first gets there. Walk over to her, introduce yourself and ask for her number. If she gives you the digits, leave — even if you haven’t worked out. You don’t want her to feel uncomfortable after your introduction.

3. Catch her on the way out.

Although this is not ideal, considering she won’t be looking her best, you can always strike up a conversation with a woman on the way out of the gym. “How was your workout? As for me, I’ve been working out all kinds of reasons I could make up to come talk to you, and I just decided I would say hi, my name is…….”

4. Join her aerobics, cycling or group class.

This gives you a place, purpose and opportunity to talk to her. “Boy, that was some workout. How do you feel you are doing in the class? I’m getting my butt whooped!”

5. Invite her to join you in some exercise.

Ask her to be your racquetball, tennis or basketball partner. If she says no, introduce yourself and ask for her number. Just because she isn’t into team sports doesn’t mean she isn’t into you.

Remember, when approaching a woman at the gym, do so with confidence but not with arrogance. Recognize that she is likely feeling insecure about how she sizes up to other women and feels a little more exposed than normal. Be discreet and use your inside voice — meaning you should talk softly and kindly so as to not intimidate her. Chances are, she’ll give you a chance. If not, you’ll need to find another gym.