Men's Dating

How to Date a Woman Who’s Out of Your League

Nick Slade Nick Slade • 11/01/12

You don’t have to be rich or famous to date a woman who is totally out of your league. We’ve all seen the short, chubby bald guy with the trophy girlfriend and wondered what he was doing right. But we also noticed he had a cheerful smile and was comfortable with himself.

They say you can’t date more than two notches above your own ranking. If you’re a “6,” you might be able to date a girl who’s an “8” but you can’t date a “10.”

When it comes to women, however, their rating scale is not based on appearance alone, so don’t set restrictions on yourself when you’re looking for a date.

The right qualities can kick you up a couple of notches, even with the prettiest girl in the world.

Any man can date a girl he thinks is inaccessible by following a few simple guidelines.

Find a sweetheart.

My theory is that there are three kinds of girls:

1. Those who are born beautiful.

Some girls are born beautiful and stay beautiful all their lives. They were fawned over and put on a pedestal early, and they are still on that pedestal today. These are girls who know they are beautiful and know the power that beauty bestows on them.

The good things in life were handed to them on a platter, and they got what they wanted by asking or demanding. They are often the divas, the prima donnas, the daddy’s girls, and, yes, the “mean girls.” They are out of your league, and you are beneath them. Stay away.

2. Those who are averagely good looking.

Some girls were cute toddlers but grew into averagely good-looking girls while they were still in the early or middle grades.

They were fawned over for a while, but then they realized they had to work hard to get ahead. These girls are the salt of the Earth, realistic and not so hard to please.

They are great people and great wives. They are your mother, your sisters and most of the women you know and love. They are not out of your league and will willingly accept you.

3. Those who blossomed later in life.

Some girls were not beautiful schoolgirls, but blossomed into stunning beauties when they matured. Bingo. By appearance, they are indistinguishable from the girls in the first category, but, like the song says, they don’t know they’re beautiful.

Going through the grades as a gangly girl with eyeglasses and buck teeth followed by braces has left them with humility, plus it allowed them to fraternize with and come to know and love regular guys just like you.

They still expect to work for what they get and know the bitterness of defeat. These girls are out of your league, but you’re not out of theirs. Look for the girls with the big eyes, the winning smile, the easy manner and just a hint of awkward self-consciousness.

 

“Show her you are in

a league of your own.”

Don’t be intimidated.

Don’t expect top-quality girls to pursue you or even pay any attention to you. But you can test the waters quite easily by paying attention to them. If she seems to be flattered by your warm greeting, then you have a shot.

But she gets a lot of attention now, so you have to be a man’s man when you approach her. When you tell her she is out-of-this-world gorgeous, make sure you are looking directly into her eyes. Don’t stammer and don’t let the conversation falter.

If she blushes, you have a real peach, but regardless of her beauty, she is still a girl. A strong confident man can make her swoon.

That’s all it takes to imprint a bit of your macho and magnetic personality on her soft and supple heart.

Be a leader.

Ask her out in a manner that shows you expect a positive response. Take control of every situation. Open doors, look her in the eyes, ask her questions that cater to her comfort, take her hand when she is getting up from a chair or out of the car.

But make sure you do it all in a way that demonstrates strength and sophistication rather than menial servitude. You are a leader, not a servant like all of the other guys who fuss over her.

In fact, you won’t fuss over her at all. You will treat her like any other woman, worthy of respect but not your queen.

The key to success when you are dating a girl who is out of your league is to show her you are in a league of your own. She’s a girl and your demeanor will make her feel safe and in good hands. You need to make her admire you for the man you are.

You do not turn into a drooling, stuttering idiot by her mere presence like ordinary men. You appreciate her eyes, her smile, her skin and her immense beauty, and you let her know it in a sincere but matter-of-fact way. But you are never in awe and are always in control.