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|David Wygant • 1/22/15|
Welcome to your world, the world of having a clingy girlfriend.
A friend of mine is going through it right now. His girlfriend wants to do everything together — every trip, every moment, every dinner, every movie. He made the mistake of seeing a movie with a guy friend that she wanted to see. She lost it. She got really upset.
The definition of a clingy girlfriend is: a girlfriend who doesn’t allow you to do things on your own.
When you first started pursuing her and first started hanging out with her, you allowed her to be clingy. This is probably due to the fact that you haven’t had a relationship in so long and you didn’t want to blow it. A lot of guys think they will.
So you enabled her to be more clingy than ever before. You didn’t set the boundaries from the get-go. When you don’t set the boundaries, you’re not going to be able to have the relationship you desire.
So now you’re going to have to backtrack.
She thinks you like it the way it is. She thinks you like the clinginess and the togetherness. And the thing is, when you start bringing it up, she’s going to take is as an insult. She’s going to think you don’t like her anymore.
It’s important when dealing with a clingy girlfriend to let her know how much you love her, but it’s also important to let her know how much you need a little space.
You need to say to her “I love doing the things we do together, but I feel like I’m not spending enough time with my friends or enough time on my own. It will make me appreciate you so much more if I can just have that one night a week to myself or those few hours on a Saturday just to run my errands or see my friends.”
You need to make her realize the relationship is going to get better by allowing you to have the free time you desire and need.
You allowed this clingy relationship to happen, so you need to realize the way to speak to her without wounding her. She needs to know you still love her, you still want to be with her and you love the relationship.
You’ll see if she starts backing off. She may take it as a personal vendetta against her and she may get defensive.
But in time, she’s going to start understanding what it’s about.
When you see her after you’ve gotten that time to yourself, you’ll tell her “Babe, I miss you. I couldn’t wait to see you. I was thinking about you the whole time.”
When you’re not with her, you shoot her a text and say “I’m having so much fun. I can’t wait to be in your arms later.”
In time, that clingy girlfriend will start feeling secure, even when she’s not with you.
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