Sex. Doin’ it. The beast with two backs. Whatever euphemism you choose, sex is a hugely important part of a relationship. Stereotypes might lead us to believe that instigating sex is typically a male role, but maybe your lady friend just isn’t getting the right signals to let her inner vixen out.
No one wants to feel like they’re the one always cajoling their partner into sex, so here are a few tips to help you encourage your girl to let her inner tiger roar.
1. Comfort is key.
Making your partner feel comfortable is a good practice in any romantic situation, but if your girlfriend doesn’t feel particularly secure, she’s probably not going to feel like ripping her clothes off.
Not to say that you’re on a picnic with alligators or living in a meth lab, but you might be surprised as to what can rattle someone’s confidence.
Sitting on the couch and watching a movie should be a fairly controlled affair, but if in the middle of it your drunk roommates start filtering in and are loudly making mac and cheese, it can be a little nerving. Consider a situation from her perspective.
2. Confidence might also be key.
Sometimes girls have a hard time feeling sexy. If she’s used to guys coming on to her, feeling a little off that day might make it more difficult for her to rally up the confidence to come on to you.
In certain situations, flattery might get you everywhere. Don’t be the “heaven called, it’s missing an angel” or “girl your booty looks fine in those jeans” type, unless she’s into that, but say something you actually mean.
Anyone not feeling his or her best likes to be reminded of the things people like about them. Pointing out the reasons you love/like/are attracted to someone might seem redundant, but sometimes it’s what they need to hear. Just remember not to lay it on too thick.
3. Make sure she knows you’re down to clown.
While the “American Pie” movies would have us believe that guys have no control over their sexual appetites, that’s not always the case in an adult relationship. Sometimes you’re a little too tired, a little too drunk, or maybe you really do need to finish your presentation before tomorrow. The older we get, the more our personal lives are often forced to take a back seat to practicality.
Make sure your girl knows her advances are not going to be rejected. Be overly flirty. Be physical. Put your hand on her arm or thigh. Go blind and make a bust of Lionel Richie’s head. Whatever works for you.
If hitting the sack really does just mean sleeping that night, let her down tactfully. Make sure you don’t rebuff her too curtly, especially if your girl isn’t the one usually instigating,