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|Sam Stieler • 6/06/12|
What is it about our exes that make them so appealing? It’s like magic. As soon as you break up with your woman, almost to the day, she suddenly regains all of those alluring qualities that drew you to desire her in the first place. Even a woman whom you felt thoroughly tired and bored with just a couple weeks ago will once again radiate attraction each time you see her after your breakup.
Whether you broke up a week ago or a year ago, it’s inevitable you will want to get your ex back. So let’s take a minute to learn how, exactly, you can take back the one who got away.
To get your ex back, you need to develop a firm idea of why the two of you broke up in the first place. If you were the one who ended your relationship, you need to ask yourself what it is about her character that led you to leave her in the first place. If your woman ended your relationship, then you need to figure out why, exactly, she left you.
The purpose of these investigations is different. If you ended things with your woman, you need to determine whether the conditions causing you to leave have changed at all. For example, if you left because your woman didn’t have her own social life, you need to take an honest look at her current situation and see if she’s corrected course.
If she has, then she may be worth taking back. If she has not, then you will need to either let go and move on, or you will need to ask yourself how much longer you’re willing to wait.
If your woman left you, then you need to take the opposite track. You need to ask yourself, with the same scathing honesty, whether you have changed in the ways she needed you to correct course. If your woman left you because you work too much, you need to determine whether you’ve really cut down your hours and refocused your priorities clearly enough to win her back. If you haven’t, then you need to keep your head down and plug on ahead until you become the sort of man your woman needs you to be.
There are a couple surefire ways to get your ex back without either you or her growing as a person.
All you need to do is let her know you were wrong, you want to help her grow and become the person you need her to be, and everything you worried about before just doesn’t matter as much as you thought it did.
Many men have gotten back together with their exes through a combination of perseverance, grovelingand outright lying. And most of those men were able to remain in their relationship afterwards, without changing or even trying to address the problems their woman previously identified.
In case it isn’t obvious, even though both the above options reliably work, neither of them represent a positive, healthy or even remotely desirable way to get your ex back. The only way to create the sort of relationship you truly want with your ex is through serious personal growth — either hers or yours.