The word “sex” brings a lot of images to mind. Some of them raunchy, others from sixth grade health class, and maybe some from that HBO show that taught a generation what Furries are. A diverse pallet, certainly, but in some ways sex, be it risque, clinical or in a mascot suit, seems to omit one of the most wonderful parts about it — love.
While the phrase “make love” sounds like it should have been left to the 90s R&B genre, here are a few tips to help you create a different kind of sexual experience with your girlfriend.
1. Hey! Listen!
In the immortal words of Navi from Ocarina of Time: listen! One of the best ways to ensure a mutually beneficial sexual experience is to pay attention to what your girl likes. Some women have an easy time letting their preference be known, but others might feel a little shy about speaking candidly about sex.
If your girlfriend feels awkward, ease the tension by going first. Tell her what you like and what you’re not so into. Coax out her inner vixen by telling her the things she does that drive you wild.
Make sure you pick an appropriate venue to bring up bedroom talk, like in your bedroom or maybe an intimate dinner after a glass of wine. Even the most sexually liberated of us would probably shy away from sensitive conversations if they were brought up in a TGI Fridays, so pick your moment well.
Letting her know you’re concerned about her needs is also a good way to build trust, an important aspect of intimacy.
“Listen to her wants as well as the things she doesn’t like.”
2. (Fore)Playa Play On.
It’s a bit of a cliche to seduce a woman’s mind but it’s also pretty true. If you’re looking to bring a different level of closeness to your sex life, foreplay is the name of the game.
Start early in the day by sending her a flirty text while she’s at work. I mean flirty as in “cute” and not as in “Democratic congressman from New York City.” Let her know you’re thinking about her throughout the day.
Be a little handsy at dinner or while you’re watching “Grey’s Anatomy.” When you finally take it to the bedroom, go slow. Candles and music usually come off as a little cheesy, but if you’re both into it, then crank up the D’Angelo.
Let her call the shots, even if she may feel a little strange at first. Don’t rush. Remember, it’s a marathon, not a race to the finish.
3. Get comfortable.
The best way to have a more intimate sexual experience all the time is to make sure your girlfriend feels comfortable. Listen to her wants as well as the things she doesn’t like.
Let her know you’re interested in enjoyment and remember the things she says. Feeling safe and at ease with your partner is the best way to ensure that you can both feel entitled to express what you’re thinking and what you like. Make sure the lines of communication stay open.