Perhaps number one on everyone’s list when selecting a mate is finding someone of quality.
This is somebody who will treat you well and with respect, balances you on all levels, makes you number one in their life, is compatible both sexually and psychologically and is a soul mate you can communicate with concerning just about anything.
Mutual trust and honoring your commitments is essential for success, but trying to find one who fits all these bills involves a dedicated process of being selective – weeding through the masses and discovering someone of excellence.
There are lots of them out there. All it takes is time and targeted effort.
Sounds easy, right?
No matter how you meet your dates (online, meet-ups, the bar scene, through friends or family), you go into each scenario hoping for the best.
You want to meet that person who satisfies your expectations, but realizing that getting 100 percent of what you want isn’t exactly realistic.
And let’s face it, all relationships, from Romeo and Juliet to Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt to yours, involve some compromise.
But that doesn’t mean letting go of the basic wishes each of us requires for lasting love.
Here are some traits all people of quality should possess and what you should be looking for:
Do they accept your good and bad characteristics, or are they always trying to correct things, making you the “perfect” person in their eyes?
Do they accept others without judgment, or are they always critical?
Are they honest, reliable and truthful? Or do they consistently “walk the line,” making you wonder if they’ll really be there when needed?
Would you trust them to take care of your children? Could you rely on them to keep personal information personal? Would they talk negatively about you after things didn’t work out?
Do they respect you as a person? Your time? Your needs and desires?
Are they there when and where they say they’re going to be? Or are you constantly revolving around their time schedule?
Do they respect your goals, viewpoints and opinions? Are they respected by their peers?
“You can usually tell if someone
is of quality fairly quickly.”
Are they accountable to those around them? Especially you? Do they account for their actions, good or bad? Or do they make excuses and blame someone else for their shortcomings?
Are they professionally and financially responsible? One of the biggest reasons for divorce is money troubles.
Is there lots of it, or do they only share what you want to hear? Is there a willingness to converse deeply on all levels?
If the communication between you is one-sided and out of balance, the relationship will suffer greatly. After all, great communication is considered the top reason for relationship health.
Can they wait calmly without complaining, even when something takes a long time? Or are they always tense and upset when things don’t happen on their timetable?
Do they want to move things along too quickly once you start dating?
Do they truly care about the world around them? Are they helpful, kind and compassionate toward others?
Are they doing the little things that show you really matter – helping you when you’re sick, tired or just having a rough day?
You can tell a lot about someone’s character by how others treat them. Are they talked about in a positive way by their friends, professional associates and family members?
Are they a fearful person, or do they have that “plunge ahead” attitude when things aren’t going perfectly? This will tell you if they have what it takes for the long haul.
Are they steady and resourceful when facing adversity?
Is the world all about them, or are they willing to work together while solving issues? If they’re headstrong, stubborn and unwilling to compromise on key matters, then a committed relationship may not be their thing.
All of this touches on narcissism, which I’ve written about before. Some just aren’t meant for a two-way street.
Couples immersed in long-lasting relationships usually carry the same reasons for staying together. And the traits I’ve listed above are repeatedly mentioned as helping to form their special bonds.
You can usually tell if someone is of quality fairly quickly by how they speak and carry themselves and by their outward appearance and attitude toward the world around them.
It isn’t rocket science. All it takes is working through a selective process.
Just don’t forget about having fun along the way!
Has it been easy or hard for you to find someone of quality? Leave your comments below. We’d love to hear from you.
Photo source: mywedding.com.