With online dating becoming more and more common, its easy to feel like you’re getting lost in the crowd you ditched in the bar scene to escape. Whether you’re at Starbucks or on Match.com, it’s difficult to find a balance between standing out and crying out for attention. Here’s a few tips to help you share your unique self online without tattooing “AVAILABLE” on your forehead.
1. Talk about yourself.
This one seems fairly obvious but talk about your actual self. You know, your real hobbies and interests. Everyone loves spending time with family, and I bet a lot of them even enjoy going to the beach. Focus on the things that make you special. Talk about your hobbies, even if they seem mundane. If you’re really into golf and your favorite musician is John Mayer, spell it out loud and proud. Don’t feel like you need to list The Mountain Goats as your favorite band to make yourself seem counter-culture. Dating, in any form, is a way to meet someone you can share something with, and spending your first date sifting through the things someone lied about in his online dating profile starts a relationship off to a rocky start. Plus, I think it’s pretty fair to say that at least half of the people who list their favorite book as “To Kill a Mockingbird” haven’t read it since high school.
2. Make sure what you say doesn’t sound crazy.
Think of a girl reading your online profile as sort of a first date, and imagine the things you would want to get across. Be funny, be charming, and be a more likable version of yourself, because in real life there is no backspace key. In your mind, saying something like “Only message me if you have brains behind your looks” might sound like it would be appealing to the glasses-wearing, Tina Fey types. But in reality, it kind of makes you sound like a nerd-chic Jack the Ripper. Also, with that kind of attitude, it seems unlikely you would have a big issue with pretty ladies throwing themselves at you. Another folly that seems to come up a lot is announcing that you started dating online after you broke up with your girlfriend of six years. To most women, the words “recently dumped” send out a strong beacon to stay away.
3. Check out other guys’ profiles.
Not in a Oscar Wilde way, but scope out other guys on the dating site you use. Check out what they’re doing and think about how you might react to it as a girl. That totally sweet ab shot you have as your profile picture? Maybe not so cool when you realize chicks have an inbox full of them. Those Rilo Kiley lyrics you thought made you seem sensitive? They kind of loose their charm after you see them for the 20th time. And yes, everyone does like the movie “Fight Club.” Look around and try to avoid cliches. Flipping through the other boys’ profiles is a good learning tool for keeping you page original but the best way is always to be yourself.