How to Tell a Date About Your Mental Illness and Other Issues

Men's Dating

How to Tell a Date About Your Mental Illness and Other Issues

Lyndra Hearn Antonson Lyndra Hearn Antonson • 9/25/14

“Everyone you meet comes with baggage. Find someone who loves you enough to help you unpack.”

This was posted on Facebook. I’d love to give credit to the author because they nailed it.

We all come in complex packages.

These include our fears, negative and limiting beliefs, buttons that get pushed, unrealistic expectations.

Our unique packages also come with challenges like chronic physical and emotional conditions — herpes, hepatitis, pain, allergies, eating disorders, alcoholism, mental illness.

We come with other people — parents, siblings, ex-partners, children. And we come with life circumstances like debt, child or ex-spousal support, job loss.

An inspiring story.

There’s an inspiring and touching true story about Justin Hines you can see from “The Sunday Morning Show.”

Justin’s a 30-year-old Canadian singer-songwriter who was born with a rare joint condition that has confined him to a wheelchair.

The first part of the video shows him as a boy and a man creating a successful music career by simply expressing his love of singing.

In the second part, Justin talks about his unexpected love relationship.

Justin never thought he’d have a love partner because of his physical condition. But his beautiful wife Savannah doesn’t see his wheelchair — she feels very lucky to be with him

Although Justin’s challenge can’t be hidden, the same principles apply to any baggage.

Because Justin doesn’t let his condition define who he is, others are able to see he’s so much more than a man in a wheelchair.

How do you tell a date about your “flaws”?

Here are some tips:

  1. Remember, there is much more to you than your illness or issue.
  2. Recognize the many good qualities and gifts you bring to a relationship.
  3. Be honest about your challenges, but also be honest about your strengths. Self-confidence is magnetic and can minimize shortcomings.
  4. Be open about the impact your condition or situation has on you and your life and how you manage to cope with it. If you’re doing the best you can and have a positive attitude, it’s easier for others to accept you.
  5. If people reject you, know you’re simply weeding out the ones who aren’t right for you.
  6. Trust that there is someone out there who will love you exactly as you are.

Remember, absolutely everyone comes with their own version of baggage. You are not alone!

Readers, how do you discuss your “baggage” with a date? I’d love to hear your stories in the comment section below.

Photo source: