I Asked Her to Hang Out, But She Said She’s Busy. What’s Going On?

Dr. Wendy Walsh Dr. Wendy Walsh • 9/25/14

Reader Question:

I was at a concert with some friends who recognized this girl on another side of the room.

We started dancing, holding hands and pretty much everything that happens before kissing. We exchanged numbers and I told her we should hang out.

I called her the next day and asked her if she wanted to come to a party with me. She said she has a lot of work to do. Three or four hours later, I see her walking with a friend. She then asks ME if I’m still going to that party. I said maybe but never actually ended up going.

I’m SO confused. There’s a formal coming up this weekend, and I want to ask if she wants to go with me.

Can you help me figure out what’s going on with this girl?

-Roger (Pennsylvania)

Dr. Wendy Walsh’s Answer:

Dear Roger,

It’s hard to tell what’s going on with this girl. She may feel uncomfortable that you two were physically touching upon your first meeting and she doesn’t know how to explain she wants to slow things down.

Or she could really like you and actually have had work to do that night and is embarrassed you saw her walking with a friend in a moment of down time.

Finally, she may not be interested in you at all and regrets her impulsive flirts the night you two met.

The only way to know for sure is to be brave and ask her to the formal. Call her and use your voice instead of text, which is a wimpy move.

And be prepared in case she says no. Be polite and tell her you understand. And then move on.

There are plenty of great girls to meet out there. But as hockey great Wayne Gretzky once said, “You miss 100 percent of the shots you never take.”

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