I Can’t Find Someone With Similar Interests. What Am I Doing Wrong?

Dr. Wendy Walsh Dr. Wendy Walsh • 10/12/12 2 comments

Reader Question:

I'm a college student in my senior year. Bars and parties were never my scene. I seem to be in this weird spot where none of my good friends hang around the kind of places/do the kind of activities I'm interested in. I’m pretty involved in my major and know most everyone in that community, but I never felt the desire to be more than friends with anyone in that community. I usually feel like I could use a wingman or if I have one, they seem out of their element. I'm not particularly ugly or repellent or anything.

So what am I doing wrong? What could I do to meet more of the kinds of people I'm interested in?

-Matthew

Dr. Wendy Walsh's Answer:

Matthew, this is so interesting. You have little in common with your close friends and a lot in common with your distant friends. Yet, you say you don’t want to be closer to people who share your interests.

Hmmmm…. As I see it, you’ve got three choices to avoid isolation.

A.) Loosen up and accept your close friends for who they are.

B.) Start to socialize with the people from your major

C.) Find a new group.

If bars and parties aren’t your scene, find a quieter scene where like-minded people congregate. University campuses have plenty of diversity. Use this senior year to spread your wings and find a new social world.


No counseling or psychotherapy advice: The Site does not provide psychotherapy advice. The Site is intended only for use by consumers in search of general information of interest pertaining to problems people may face as individuals and in relationships and related topics. Content is not intended to replace or serve as substitute for professional consultation or service. Contained observations and opinions should not be misconstrued as specific counseling advice.