I Can’t Find Women Who Share My Interests. Where is She?

October 5, 2012
I Can’t Find Women Who Share My Interests. Where is She?

Reader Question:

I’m a 24-year-old male with a doctorate. I’m told by my female friends that I’m very charming, confident and good looking, but I can’t help but find myself somewhat cornered. I can hardly ever find women who share my interests and can hold intellectual conversations! I’ve exhausted the friends of friends and have tried online dating with nothing to show for it.

Where is she?

-Burhank (Boston)

Dr. Wendy Walsh’s Answer:

Dear Mr. Higher Thinker. Is the primary role of a mate to provide you with intellectual stimulation for your lifetime?

I understand you may have some social class clashes with someone with only a high school diploma, but learning to appreciate all facets of a woman will help you out.

Also, understanding that asking one person to satisfy all of your needs is a little unrealistic.

Let’s break down some of your possible current and future needs: friendship, care giving, sexuality, a shared financial partner, a good mother, and yes, an intellectual stimulator.

You say no woman shares your interests, but there are women engaging in virtually every traditionally “male” occupation and hobby.

Start by looking for her while you are engaging in your interests. And prioritize your needs. You might surround yourself with a bunch of platonic friends to stimulate your mind while a cozy mate stimulates other parts of you. :)


No counseling or psychotherapy advice: The Site does not provide psychotherapy advice. The Site is intended only for use by consumers in search of general information of interest pertaining to problems people may face as individuals and in relationships and related topics. Content is not intended to replace or serve as substitute for professional consultation or service. Contained observations and opinions should not be misconstrued as specific counseling advice.

Dr. Wendy Walsh is the author of "The 30-Day Love Detox"" (April 2013). Connect with her on Google+.

Related Topics:
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2 Responses

    Yea, maybe you’re being too harsh on the women you date. Try to relax a little more. Dating is supposed to be fun. If you always put so much pressure on finding the perfect girl, you will be looking for a long time. Good luck!

    Sounds like you get bored easily, are women not engaging in YOUR conversations? maybe you should bring a few ice breaker games to a first date, give yourself some options to talk about.

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