I Finally Made a Move. Can I Somehow Win Her Back?

November 9, 2012
I Finally Made a Move. Can I Somehow Win Her Back?

Reader Question:

Since last year, I noticed this girl. I didn’t have the guts to make a move, and it’s been about four months since she got along with this other guy. From my point of view, it’s not that serious. I finally made a move and broke the ice when she was talking with my friends. I went over and offered them gummy bears, which by the way is her favorite snack according to her FB page, but she and her friend refused to take one.

Is there any chance for me to somehow win her back?

-Jim (Turkey)

Dr. Wendy Walsh’s Answer:

Win her back? You never had her. You approached her like a stalking stranger and offered her candy. She was taught as a child to run from men like that. And you did it while she had her girl pack protecting her.

Dude, you gotta divide and conquer. Being socially intelligent means getting to know people she knows first. Then get yourself invited to some place where she will be – a group activity or social event where there will be less pressure. Then when she’s alone, strike up a conversation.


No counseling or psychotherapy advice: The Site does not provide psychotherapy advice. The Site is intended only for use by consumers in search of general information of interest pertaining to problems people may face as individuals and in relationships and related topics. Content is not intended to replace or serve as substitute for professional consultation or service. Contained observations and opinions should not be misconstrued as specific counseling advice.

Dr. Wendy Walsh is the author of "The 30-Day Love Detox"" (April 2013). Connect with her on Google+.

Related Topics:
Approaching Women

4 Responses

    wow thats creepy going up to a gurl giving her candy doesnt mean u r dating

    He’s from turkey so it seems that maybe there is some sort of culture language barrier thing maybe? I’m sure he heart is in the right place!

      C. Price
      Cynthia (DatingAdvice.com)

      I couldn’t agree more. A lot of culture and language barriers can sometimes lead to an awkward first impression and potentially ruin a great match!

    Ha ha.. Like that answer of getting invited or somehow attending a function where you think he or she might be… Awkward but soooo worth it huh? What could be worst case scenario? That he or she sees you there and starts running towards the door or vice-versa or who knows… OR She or he sees you and they run, hop, or skip to you with open arms and gives you a huge unexpected kiss and great tight long hug.. Oh gosh… How romantic… Wouldn’t that be something else…And you can say… “well my my what a coincidence, never in a thousand years would’ve expected to see you here”, and if she happens to be with another date at function, imagine if she just went back to that date and told him she was gonna go sit with you and pull up chair at your table or wherever you were standing and join you for rest of function and who knows, she might even leave the function with you… Wow… Talk about perfect when you didn’t even expect any of it… But sometimes that’s how life works .. What’s meant to be is meant and what’s not is not.. Things happen on their own most of time… At least that’s how it’s happened with me .. When I wasn’t looking or expecting love, it somehow was looking for me..even had it written out in beautiful lovely words; However, not really sure what happened after that since he gave up on me after I changed my ph number after we had a little disagreement and he never called again… What a great feeling huh? So much for that! But don’t give up… I haven’t and will keep looking until I find the right one or Mr. Right one finds me..

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