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|Dr. Wendy Walsh • 7/06/12|
My wife and I are separated. She was unfaithful three times this last month, but I was unfaithful 19 years ago. We have been married 21 years. She wants to divorce and after a couple of months, get married again so we can have a clean slate.
I have forgiven her of all and want to work it out. But am I wasting my time, or is this true?
-Mike R. (Washington)
OK, I’m confused. Your wife wants to spend thousands of dollars of the family money in divorce court and maintaining two separate residences, just so she can marry you again? I can understand her need for some kind of symbolic ritual to create a “clean slate” in her head, but divorce is not the way to do it.
I suggest a week-long couples retreat that culminates with you two reinstating your vows. Bottom line: You two need to have open communication so you can understand why she had those affairs. Affairs are always the symptom of a bigger problem. And that’s what you need to uncover before you can proceed.
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