I Haven’t Had a Date in More Than a Year. What Am I Doing Wrong?

Gina Stewart Gina Stewart • 9/25/14

Reader Question:

I am on a bunch of dating sites. For well over a year, I’ve had not one date. I am a very nice guy looking to have fun.

What am I doing wrong?

-Rob (Illinois)

Gina Stewart’s Answer:

There are three reasons why people don’t get dates. Without knowing specifics, it’s hard to know what is going on, but look at these elements:

1. Be ready to change your profile.

Photos and how you describe yourself may not be doing you justice. Men often neglect their pictures, so pay attention here.

2. You’re only contacting the most beautiful women.

If you’re going for the best-looking women, odds are they are also getting a lot of attention from other sources. Like attracts like. Like responds to like. If they are hot, you better make sure you’re looking hot, too.

3. Your contacting methods aren’t right.

You need to make sure you’re active in pursing women but not aggressively. One leads to dates and one doesn’t. Active means sending emails, trying to get to know someone and then asking them out.

Don’t be afraid to change how you do things. You can always contact an online dating coach like myself who can assess your problems on a more specific basis.


No counseling or psychotherapy advice: The Site does not provide psychotherapy advice. The Site is intended only for use by consumers in search of general information of interest pertaining to problems people may face as individuals and in relationships and related topics. Content is not intended to replace or serve as substitute for professional consultation or service. Contained observations and opinions should not be misconstrued as specific counseling advice.