I Initiated the First Dates. When Should I Hold Back?

October 19, 2012
I Initiated the First Dates. When Should I Hold Back?

Reader Question:

I’m in a recently started relationship. We have only been on two dates. The girl seems to be very interested in me, and I in her. I have initiated the first two plans. When should I hold back and let her initiate?


Dr. Wendy Walsh’s Answer:

While gender roles have been changing, there are still plenty of women who still love to be courted in a traditional way. The challenge for guys is to determine how much is too much, because women also get turned off by a guy who tries too hard.

I would suggest you wait a bit. If you waited a few days to call her between the first dates, wait a week now. It will give her a chance to call you if she’d like to, or it will make her wonder if your interest is waning.

Both genders like to feel they are getting a prize. Be happy and busy to be most attractive.

No counseling or psychotherapy advice: The Site does not provide psychotherapy advice. The Site is intended only for use by consumers in search of general information of interest pertaining to problems people may face as individuals and in relationships and related topics. Content is not intended to replace or serve as substitute for professional consultation or service. Contained observations and opinions should not be misconstrued as specific counseling advice.

Dr. Wendy Walsh is the author of "The 30-Day Love Detox"" (April 2013). Connect with her on Google+.

Related Topics:
First Date

2 Responses

    why do women never initiate? it gets tiring having to plan everything

      Even with the traditional thing of guys asking girls, as females, we’re mostly old to wait for initiation anyway. so as much as a guy wants a girl to ask, we’re thinking the same thing. It shouldn’t be a game so whichever party wants to ask, then ask.

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