I Sang for Her to Show How I Feel. What Should I Do Now?

Dr. Wendy Walsh Dr. Wendy Walsh • 9/25/14

Reader Question:

I’ve known this girl for a few months, and she knows I like her. When I asked her out, she agreed and we went out two times. I don’t know how she feels about me. Before we went out, I sang for her. I made a song to show how I feel about her. After singing, she was so speechless and I don’t know what that face meant. Everything was going well for both of us, but still I feel like there’s something wrong.

What should I do now?

-Hibatur Rahman

Dr. Wendy Walsh’s Answer:


In old-fashioned romantic books, paintings and poems, men courted women. They brought her flowers and chocolate and may even have serenaded her. But today, sadly, such rituals might be considered cheesy – a little too much, over-the-top attention.

Here’s the thing: Both men and women want to date someone of a higher status. We all want to snare a prize.

Men display their status by spending wasteful money on women. Women display their status by attempting to increase their beauty. And when a man courts a woman too hard, she may perceive he is below her.

We all want a little chase – a little unknowing about whether we can have someone’s attention. You gave her your time and your talent right up front and showed your cards a little too early. That’s all.

Now back off a bit. Let some time go between calls and sightings. She’ll notice you when you try a little less hard.

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