I Want to Invite Her Out with My Friends. What Are the Negatives of This Approach?

Dr. Wendy Walsh Dr. Wendy Walsh • 9/25/14

Reader Question:

I’ve been doing the online dating thing for a while now. Recently I met someone. It’s only been a couple of days of texting and talking on the phone, but we’ve both said we have a really good feeling about us.

We’re trying to set up a first date. Unfortunately, our schedules this week are off. I’m wondering if it’s OK to invite her out with my friends.

What are the negatives of this approach other than we won’t get to talk as much one on one?

-J. (Pennsylvania)

Dr. Wendy Walsh’s Answer:

Dear J.,

First off, exchanging a few texts and phone calls shouldn’t make your hopes soar. At the beginning of an online interaction, everyone is on their best behavior and saying everything they can to make the person like them.

My suggestion is always to do a quick “drive by date,” say a coffee somewhere. If you like what you see, then the second meeting should really be the first date.

And to meet with friends is an excellent idea. Have her bring a friend, too. Take the pressure off. You really don’t know if you are truly interested yet.


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