I Want to Move Forward. Is She Waiting for Me to Make the First Move?

Dr. Wendy Walsh Dr. Wendy Walsh • 11/16/12 6 comments

Reader Question:

I have been seeing this woman for about three months and so far it’s been platonic — aside from holding hands and warm embraces. We had a great discussion recently about where we are heading. We both enjoy being together. She has also confided in me about a sister who recently passed away from cancer. I'm interested in moving the relationship forward. She's been divorced for a little over a year. I recently discovered she is back on Match.com, and she mentioned she had a date several weeks ago.

Am I just the guy friend, or is she waiting for me to make the first move? I've held off on making a move out of respect due to the death of her sister.

-Greg (Iowa)

Dr. Wendy Walsh's Answer:

I’m sorry to bring you bad news, but if she’s actively back on online dating, it means she’s not that into you. And if she even told you about the date, then that is blatant code for “We are just friends.”

I’d have a least one open and honest conversation with her about your intentions, and if she isn’t ready to move forward, you are best to move away from her. If she wants you, she’ll come back.


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