If She Wants to Be with Wine More Than Me, Is That Being Unfaithful?

Dr. Wendy Walsh Dr. Wendy Walsh • 9/25/14

Reader Question:

I have been married for just under 15 years, but for the last 10 years, she has been abusing alcohol. She has been in two accidents while under the influence, and she has been to suicide watch several times.

If she wants to be with her wine more than me, would you consider that being unfaithful?

-Harvey (New Mexico)

Dr. Wendy Walsh’s Answer:

Yes. She needs an intervention followed by strong consequences. If she doesn’t go to AA meetings and stay clean, she’s out.

But remember that leaving the relationship can put her in great danger if it triggers a binge. Don’t fully abandon her. Make sure you support her in her recovery while maintaining boundaries.

Enlist family members and professionals to help you. You are hurting her more by enabling her behavior.

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