I’m Going Back to My Home Country, But I Like This Girl. How Do I Tell Her?

Dr. Wendy Walsh Dr. Wendy Walsh • 9/25/14

Reader Question:

I am an international student and I met a girl in this country. In one month, I have to go back to my home country. The problem is I really like the girl I met here. I think she feels the same but I am not sure.

I kissed her on a drunk night. As far as I remember, she said, “I like you too, but I don’t want a relationship because you are going back.” In one week, I am going with her on a holiday – just the two of us.

How do I tell her I fancy her? And how could I convince her to start a relationship?

Frederik (U.K.)

Dr. Wendy Walsh’s Answer:

Dear Frederik,

Let me get this straight: This girl isn’t your girlfriend. You, in fact, recently met her.

And the only time you’ve kissed is when you were too drunk to fully remember what her response was – not exactly a big foundation to base a long-distance relationship on.

I think you should think in terms of growing a long-distance friendship via Skype and phone and see where it goes.

And what about this romantic weekend away??? It sure seems like a lot of pressure for an only-kissed-once relationship. Are you planning to sleep in the same room? In the same bed?

I think you two better set some clear ground rules before this weekend. Sex before expressions of love and commitment is more often a negative passion turning point, evoking regrets and apologies.

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